Why is my son so touchy feely?

Some kids are driven by their sensation-craving “sensory profile,” as it's called, and they're not able to curb their impulse for the sake of propriety. “Children can love tickles and snuggles and hugs and they just love the sense of pressure up against objects or other people,” Radesky says.

metroparent.com - What to Do About Your Overly 'Handsy' Kid - Metro Parent

Do fathers have a favorite child?

Even if you don't fully recognize it, research indicates that there's a good chance that you actually do have a favorite. In fact, one study...

Last updated Apr 26, 2022

Which god married his own sister?

Why is Zeus married to his sister? To hide her shame, Hera agreed to marry him. It was a violent marriage at best. Though Zeus had pursued his...

Last updated Nov 22, 2019

Promotion

Some kids crave the feeling of being touched and squeezed. They love hugs and kisses more than most. While most children enjoy occasional visits from the Tickle Monster and a nice warm embrace from mommy, though, it’s a different story when they’re constantly pawing at friends, classmates and even strangers. From petting a friend’s hair or face to grasping peers or teachers at school, the behavior varies by child – but there is a solution.

All in the wiring

We’re all “wired” a little differently. This applies to our sensory processes, explains Dr. Jenny Radesky, a child behavior expert and pediatrician at University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital in Ann Arbor. “Some children have mild deficits in their proprioception” – that’s your brain’s ability to sense where your body is in proximity to others – “so it doesn’t actually register for them that they’re too close to someone else or that their body is leaning really hard on someone else,” Radesky says. “They’re just not as aware of their body position and space.” Some kids are driven by their sensation-craving “sensory profile,” as it’s called, and they’re not able to curb their impulse for the sake of propriety. “Children can love tickles and snuggles and hugs and they just love the sense of pressure up against objects or other people,” Radesky says. “But they don’t realize what feels good to them does not feel good to the other person, necessarily.” Radesky says children with this problem are usually brought to her attention from the ages of 3 to 8 when children are in preschool and lower elementary – and they’re discovering social skills in the classroom. This is where kids learn about personal bubbles and the “keep your hands to yourself” rule. “Most children will learn how to internalize these rules and go with them,” Radesky says. “For others, that impulse to feel like you’re pushing up against something and cuddling with someone is too strong, and it’s hard not to do that.”

Face the problem head-on

Radesky says it’s best to be patient with sensation-craving children and to treat each “minor moment of transgression” as a teachable moment. “Right around the age of 3, children are starting to develop theory of mind,” Radesky says. “So that’s an important time to start helping children understand what effect their actions have on other people and if they see something one way that the other person may have received it a different way.” Theory of mind is the ability to understand other people’s thoughts and perspectives, Radesky explains. So children begin to have the ability to walk a mile in another person’s shoes around preschool age. Picture books are one fun and approachable way to help children build this skill. Radesky recommends Personal Space Camp by Julia Cook and Hands Off, Harry! by Rosemary Wells. Read together and talk about how characters are reacting to the “handsy” character – and what could be done differently to make those characters feel more comfortable. To curb your child’s need for sensory input, Radesky recommends a Lycra sleeping bag or a weighted blanket. And, to expend some energy and fulfill their needs, try building a pillow fort together or challenge them to a pillow fight. Be sure to let your child’s teacher know which methods work best at home so they can be implemented in the classroom, too. If all reasonable techniques have been used to no avail, Radesky suggests seeing an occupational therapist that specializes in early childhood development.

This post was originally published in 2017 and is updated regularly.

How do soul ties start?

Soul ties are typically formed through a physical, spiritual, social, or emotional connection, which can involve deep conversations and complete...

Last updated Aug 9, 2021

How do you fix relationship fatigue?

Here are five steps you can take to combat relationship fatigue. Carve out alone time. Even if you have to find someone else to care for your kids...

Last updated Dec 9, 2022

Promotion

Why are sons more important than daughters?

Common wisdom is that the preference for sons is motivated by economic, religious, social and emotional desires and norms that favor males and make females less desirable: Parents expect sons—but not daughters—to provide financial and emotional care, especially in their old age; sons add to family wealth and property ...

unfpa.org - Son Preference and Daughter Neglect in India

For more than 100 years, the Indian census has shown a marked gap between the number of boys and girls, men and women. This gap, which has nationwide implications, is the result of decisions made at the most local level—the family. Common wisdom is that the preference for sons is motivated by economic, religious, social and emotional desires and norms that favor males and make females less desirable: Parents expect sons—but not daughters—to provide financial and emotional care, especially in their old age; sons add to family wealth and property while daughters drain it through dowries; sons continue the family lineage while daughters are married away to another household; sons perform important religious roles; and sons defend or exercise the family’s power while daughters have to be defended and protected, creating a perceived burden on the household.