Why does love fade in a relationship?

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vtx.vt.edu - Heart-racing romantic feelings fade over time — here's why | VTx

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You know the feeling — the warm, heart-skipping sensation that comes with romantic love. It happens when your brain releases certain feel-good chemicals, stemming from a powerful attraction. For some, it may last for awhile. But the feeling fades over time. Rose Wesche, an assistant professor in Virginia Tech’s Department of Human Development and Family Science, answers questions about why we have these emotions and how to hold onto them a little longer. Her research focuses on the ways that diverse interpersonal relationships, including friendships, romantic relationships, and casual sexual relationships, are associated with adolescents’ and young adults’ well-being.

Q: Why do we experience that warm, fuzzy feeling when we are first attracted to someone romantically?

Wesche: That warm, fuzzy feeling is called limerence. The term refers to the intense, involuntary attraction we feel during the first stages of a romantic relationship. Limerence is often characterized by intrusive thoughts (we can’t stop thinking about someone) and a need for reciprocation (we can’t stand the thought of being rejected by someone). Limerence has a biological basis. When we are first attracted to someone, our brains release chemicals like norepinephrine and dopamine, which make our hearts flutter and make us feel happy.

Q: Why does that go away over time?

Wesche: The feeling of limerence can last for weeks or decades, although most people start to feel its decline within a year or two of starting a romantic relationship. As we form a lasting romantic bond, dopamine and norepinephrine stop flowing. They’re replaced by hormones associated with social bonding, like oxytocin. In the first stages of a romantic relationship, the brain reacts to your partner as if they’re a drug. As your relationship deepens, the brain reacts to your partner as it would to a loving companion — with feelings of calm, warmth, and security.

Q: How can partners preserve that feeling?

Wesche: Well, our partners can’t be drugs forever, and it’s natural for intense romantic feelings to fade. But there are things we can do to maintain intimacy within our long-term romantic relationships. The field of relationship research overflows with strategies for relationship enhancement. They include several ideas: Attend to your partner. Eliminate distractions and give them your undivided attention when you can. Have goals for your relationship. Think about ways your relationship can continue to grow and enact a plan for meeting those goals.

Practice gratitude. Think about why you are grateful for your partner.

Q: Based on your research, what is your No. 1 relationship advice?

Wesche: Make conscious decisions about entering a relationship and make sure your decisions are consistent with your desires. Communicate with your partner every step of the way. These simple things are crucial to any happy relationship, regardless of whether it’s a casual fling or a long-term commitment.

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wikihow.com - How to Spoon Someone: 10 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

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Article Summary

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Spooning is a great way to cuddle, show affection, fall asleep, or even hang out on the couch with your loved one. To spoon someone as the “big spoon,” lie down next to your partner so that you’re facing them and they’re facing away from you. Slide one arm underneath your partner’s neck or side, and wrap your other arm over them like you’re hugging them. Bend your knees inward to give your partner space to get into a comfortable position. To spoon someone as the “little spoon,” lie down on your side with your back facing your partner. Give them a few seconds to slide their arms around and shift your weight as needed to get into a comfortable position. Once both of you are comfy, stay in this position for as long you’d like and enjoy the connection. To learn how to get out of a spoon position, keep reading!

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