Infatuation Rules
Photo: Dmitriy Zub
What is important with lip-on-lip kissing and other types of kissing is that the moment is about sharing close, intimate information about each other. Kissing by pressing our lips together is an almost uniquely human behaviour.
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Read More »"But I think the key to the human universal of kissing, or the absence of it, is that people's sensuality can be met in many ways other than just kissing," says Jankowiak. Those cultures that do not kiss lip on lip find other ways to be intimate, says author Sheril Kirshenbaum. "There's the Malay kiss that Darwin described, where women would squat down on the ground and men would kind of hang over them and take a quick sniff of each other – take a sample of their partner’s scent." On the Trobriand Islands, off the east coast of Papua New Guinea, lovers kiss by sitting face to face and nibbling at each other's eyelashes, "which I think to many of us today doesn't sound like the height of romance but for them that did the trick", says Kirshenbaum. What is important with lip-on-lip kissing and other types of kissing is that the moment is about sharing close, intimate information about each other.
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Read More »Case in point: An 2018 survey of 1,000 British men and women found that while more than half of them take over three months to say, "I love you," 32% of women and 29% of men say it in one to three months—and 10% of women and 14% of men say it in just one to four weeks.
One 2017 survey found 72% of men and 61% of women believe in love at first sight, and a 2004 study found about a third of Americans say they've personally experienced it. There's some science that backs up the concept: Some research suggests people decide within seconds whether they're romantically interested in someone, and neurologically speaking, it takes only one-fifth of a second for the neurochemical reaction associated with feelings of love to fire off. But other research discounts the theory. A 2017 study in the Personal Relationships journal orchestrated a bunch of first encounters between single strangers, and the researchers found feelings of instant attraction can indeed happen in a first encounter. Some people described these feelings as "love at first sight"—however, these people didn't report feelings of intimacy, passion, and commitment as part of their experience. The main predictor of a "love at first sight" experience was finding the other person physically attractive. In other words, romantic love usually cannot happen at first sight, psychologist and sex therapist Lauren Fogel Mersy, PsyD, explains to mbg. "There can be a strong attraction at first sight, but romantic love for someone requires knowing who they are, the fullness of their character."
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