Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Julia M Cameron
A summary of the research points out that people with low self-esteem's resistance to address concerns may stem from a fear of negative outcomes. Thtat is, they may believe that if they speak up and confront what troubles them, they risk rejection from their partner; and that, in turn, will damage their relationship.
Communication Issues Numerous studies have identified communication (or a lack thereof) as one of the top reasons for couples seek therapy, as well...
Read More »
8 signs that this man is just wasting your time He avoids meeting your family. ... When he talks about the future, he doesn't include you. ... He...
Read More »I’ve often worked with many individuals and couples who experience a diminished sense of self-worth; low self-esteem. When they find that their relationships have entered the dead zone, they are often stuck within them, troubled and frustrated. They're unable to push for revitalizing them, if that's possible; or leaving, if that would be healtier. Even as they uncover the roots of their low self-worth through therapy, they often remain frozen in a bad, even destructive relationship. Some recent research provides some empirical confirmation of that clinical picture. It found that the partner with diminished self-esteem tends to avoid confronting problems or conflicts. That avoidance often reflects feelings of insecurity about the partner’s feelings for them, and leads to hunkering down and withdrawing from conflict that might be resolved through more open, transparent communication. The research, conducted by the University of Waterloo, confirmed in essence that partners with low self-esteem tend not to voice relationship complaints with their partner because they fear rejection. “There is a perception that people with low self-esteem tend to be more negative and complain a lot more,” says Megan McCarthy, the study’s lead author. “While that may be the case in some social situations, our study suggests that in romantic relationships, the partner with low self-esteem resists addressing problems.” And, “If your significant other is not engaging in open and honest conversation about the relationship,” says McCarthy, “it may not be that they don’t care, but rather that they feel insecure and are afraid of being hurt. We’ve found that people with a more negative self-concept often have doubts and anxieties about the extent to which other people care about them,” she says. “This can drive low self-esteem people toward defensive, self-protective behavior, such as avoiding confrontation.” A summary of the research points out that people with low self-esteem’s resistance to address concerns may stem from a fear of negative outcomes. Thtat is, they may believe that if they speak up and confront what troubles them, they risk rejection from their partner; and that, in turn, will damage their relationship. Consequently, that tends to lead to greater mutual dissatisfaction in the relationship. “We may think that staying quiet, in a ‘forgive and forget’ kind of way, is constructive, and certainly it can be when we feel minor annoyances,” says McCarthy. “But when we have a serious issue in a relationship, failing to address those issues directly can actually be destructive.” It's good to see empirical support for familiar patterns that men and women bring to psychotherapy. That may help them clarify how and why they perpetuate the negative relationships that they hope to heal.
“You can absolutely fall in love with two people at the same time,” he says. “Walt Whitman was right — you contain multitudes. Someone might bring...
Read More »
How much sex should a couple have? Once a week is a common baseline, experts say. That statistic depends slightly on age: 40- and 50-year-olds tend...
Read More »"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." "But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." "Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly."
Read on to learn some signs that you and a friend have drifted apart and it's time to let the friendship go. You Don't Understand Each Other...
Read More »
How To Turn A Casual Relationship Into More Be Clear With Your Intentions. Let this person know that you're in it to win it. ... Take Your Time....
Read More »
“Men like girls with no drama because they're easier to deal with.” “Easy-going, down to earth, but not bland.” “The simple girl is someone who's...
Read More »
When a man asks you out for a second or third date, all it means is he's interested in getting to know you better, because he felt a good...
Read More »
Promotion
Promotion
Promotion
Promotion