Infatuation Rules
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Why do men fall faster in love?

A study of 172 college students found men reported falling in love earlier than women and expressing that sentiment first. According to Broadly, the reason men are quicker to say 'I love you' may be because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner.

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Society has a lot of old and outdated ideas about gender, and most of them are just flat out wrong. Instead of holding on to incorrect assumptions about gender (that, for what it's worth, can be harmful), we should forget about them completely. In that spirit, we have one more incorrect gender assumption you can throw out. Contrary to popular belief, women don't fall in love quickly. Actually, science said in relationships between cisgender men and women, men are more likely to declare love at first sight. A new study found men actually fall in love quicker than women, and the reason could be biological. A study of 172 college students found men reported falling in love earlier than women and expressing that sentiment first. According to Broadly, the reason men are quicker to say 'I love you' may be because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner. Because being pregnant is a huge commitment, psychologist Marissa Harrison, who co-authored the study, told Broadly she thinks women my subconsciously postpone love to ensure their partner is suitable to have children with. Of course, not all women want children, and not all relationship lead to them. Another psychologist posited that the reason men fall in love faster than women could actually be gender roles at work, with men attempting to fulfill the expectation that they take a leadership role in a relationship. But it actually doesn't matter who falls in love fastest. This study does something much more important than tell us who's more likely to use the L-word first. The study actually debunks a long-held societal myth that's often used to discredit and disregard women. It shows that women are not the emotionally frivolous beings laser-focused on love and marriage that they're often made out to be. "Women are assumed to be emotional; sometimes overly so, or rash," psychologist Marissa Harrison, who co-authored the study, told Broadly. "Both men and women in our study presumed that women would fall in love and say 'I love you' faster than men."

We see this idea that women are overly-emotional all the time and it's used to undermine women's credibility. In daily life, this happens on the regular in dating situations, when women are laughed at as "crazy" or shamed for wanting commitment. At it's highest level, we saw this stereotype at play during Hillary Clinton's Presidential campaign, when people said women are too emotionally unstable to lead the country. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

So next time someone has a cheap laugh at the expense of women because their supposedly "emotional," let them know that science isn't on their side.

Related: Sexism in Politics: 10 Women Share Their Stories

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How do you know if the breakup was worth it?

"Take a hard and honest look at your values. Remind yourself what led to you and/or your partner deciding to separate. For a breakup to happen, there must have been a rationale that made sense, and it's good to honor that," Nguyen says.

Will I feel lonely?

Will I be able to meet anyone else?

What if this was a mistake?

These questions are all normal after a breakup, says Nguyen: "All change, even if it is largely positive, comes with some anxiety, fear, or regret." When you're thinking about the breakup, there can be a lot of sadness and pain around shared memories. Perhaps your life with them was easy and comforting, and imagining being on your own is terrifying. But don't let fear enable you to regress from your decision. It doesn't help you, and they don't deserve to be with someone who only wants to be with them because they don't want to be alone. "The problem with the unknown is that it is precisely that: unknowable. We may not know answers to these questions for a while, if ever. All we can do is routinely ask ourselves what we need and try to walk toward that as much as possible. Sometimes we find out more information and have to change course, and that's OK," Nguyen says.

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