Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Polina Zimmerman
That's because feelings of a crush and feelings of love release the mood-boosting hormones dopamine and oxytocin to the brain, Stephanie Cacioppo, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at The University of Chicago, told INSIDER.
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Read More »There are characteristics that differentiate a crush from a more serious romance, New York City-based therapist Dr. Bukky Kolawole told INSIDER. Crushes are rooted in fantasy and tend to happen when you don't know much about a person but idealize what they are like, Kolawole said.
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Read More »When you see a potential mate, whether it's a total stranger, an acquaintance, or a partner, your brain also activates its cognitive network, the region that holds our past experiences, preferences, and self-image, Cacioppo explained. When this area activates, it's "instructing our eyes on who to love." This process happens so quickly, you won't be mentally aware of it, although your body may react with an increased heart rate, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling, and obsessive thinking, Cacioppo said. You can't control when you get a crush, but you can take measures to stop it once it happens Although crushes and love interests create similar biological reactions, there are distinct differences. According to Cacioppo, "a crush and love act on different planes," so crushes feel like uncontrollable urges because they happen more quickly than falling in love, which is a slower experience. That's why crushing can feel like a spiral you can't seem to get a grip on. Cacioppo noted that, while you can't control when you develop a crush on a person, you can stop the crush once you consciously notice it. "Maintenance of a crush can be stopped with strong willpower from the frontal lobe, meditation, discipline, and practice," she said. When you start to rely on a person in real life, a crush can cross into romantic territory Despite the differences, Cacioppo told INSIDER it is possible for a crush to develop into a relationship. “With crushing, you're OK with the distance because you're not fully in it yet," Kolawole added. But if you begin to have shared, in-person experiences with your crush, an attachment system is created. A relationship is then established and the body and brain can react differently, like feeling sad or alone when that person is physically absent.
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