Infatuation Rules
Photo by Polina Zimmerman Pexels Logo Photo: Polina Zimmerman

Why do I get such intense crushes?

That's because feelings of a crush and feelings of love release the mood-boosting hormones dopamine and oxytocin to the brain, Stephanie Cacioppo, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at The University of Chicago, told INSIDER.

How can you tell a man still loves you?
How can you tell a man still loves you?

Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend/Ex-Husband Still Loves You He Still Actively Follows You On Social Media. ... He Tries To Contact You Every Now And Then....

Read More »
How many marriages break up?
How many marriages break up?

Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. 7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first...

Read More »

There are characteristics that differentiate a crush from a more serious romance, New York City-based therapist Dr. Bukky Kolawole told INSIDER. Crushes are rooted in fantasy and tend to happen when you don't know much about a person but idealize what they are like, Kolawole said.

Crushes and love do, however, have biological similarities.

Hormones like dopamine and oxytocin release during both experiences, Stephanie Cacioppo, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at The University of Chicago, told INSIDER. If you get closer to your crush and develop real-life experiences and a sense of reciprocity, the crush can develop into something more. Top editors give you the stories you want — delivered right to your inbox each weekday. Loading Something is loading. Thanks for signing up! Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. download the app Email address By clicking ‘Sign up’, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider as well as other partner offers and accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy If you've ever experienced a sudden and intense attraction to someone you don't know very well, you've probably gushed to your friends about your secret "crush." Although there's no clinical definition for a crush, there are characteristics that differentiate a crush from a more serious romantic engagement, New York City-based therapist Dr. Bukky Kolawole told INSIDER. Mainly, crushes are rooted in fantasy and the person who is crushing tends to project their values onto the person they desire. "You have little pieces of information and what you see, you are drawn to in that person," Kolawole explained. This differs from a romantic interest or relationship, where what you know more about the person and your suppositions are based on real-life experiences you've had together. For instance, when crushing, you might subconsciously think the person you always sit next to on the train is kind and caring, but you have no way to back up your supposition or fully trust them, since trust is built through time and an established connection, Kolawole explained. "Longing and yearning has distance, whereas with love, you're engaging with the person and feel a connection," she said.

Crushes and love interests have biological similarities

Although there is a distinct difference between a crush and something more, there are certain similarities, like the way both make you feel. That's because feelings of a crush and feelings of love release the mood-boosting hormones dopamine and oxytocin to the brain, Stephanie Cacioppo, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at The University of Chicago, told INSIDER.

What is Rule 18 of the Internet?
What is Rule 18 of the Internet?

Cite directly to an internet source that cannot be cited according to another Bluebook rule. The citation should include the title, pagination,...

Read More »
How many dates to see if there is chemistry?
How many dates to see if there is chemistry?

Three dates is a good rule of thumb. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some...

Read More »

When you see a potential mate, whether it's a total stranger, an acquaintance, or a partner, your brain also activates its cognitive network, the region that holds our past experiences, preferences, and self-image, Cacioppo explained. When this area activates, it's "instructing our eyes on who to love." This process happens so quickly, you won't be mentally aware of it, although your body may react with an increased heart rate, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling, and obsessive thinking, Cacioppo said. You can't control when you get a crush, but you can take measures to stop it once it happens Although crushes and love interests create similar biological reactions, there are distinct differences. According to Cacioppo, "a crush and love act on different planes," so crushes feel like uncontrollable urges because they happen more quickly than falling in love, which is a slower experience. That's why crushing can feel like a spiral you can't seem to get a grip on. Cacioppo noted that, while you can't control when you develop a crush on a person, you can stop the crush once you consciously notice it. "Maintenance of a crush can be stopped with strong willpower from the frontal lobe, meditation, discipline, and practice," she said. When you start to rely on a person in real life, a crush can cross into romantic territory Despite the differences, Cacioppo told INSIDER it is possible for a crush to develop into a relationship. “With crushing, you're OK with the distance because you're not fully in it yet," Kolawole added. But if you begin to have shared, in-person experiences with your crush, an attachment system is created. A relationship is then established and the body and brain can react differently, like feeling sad or alone when that person is physically absent.

Visit INSIDER's homepage for more.

What emotion is orange?
What emotion is orange?

Orange Is Energetic It may call to mind feelings of enthusiasm and excitement. Because orange is a high-energy color, many sports teams use orange...

Read More »
How do soulmates act?
How do soulmates act?

A soulmate is someone who completely understands you and loves you unconditionally. It's a meeting of minds and an undeniable connection. It's the...

Read More »
Why are narcissists so mean to their partners?
Why are narcissists so mean to their partners?

"Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy,"...

Read More »
How do I protect my feelings from a narcissist?
How do I protect my feelings from a narcissist?

How To Protect Yourself From A Narcissist Determine the type of narcissist you're dealing with. ... Be aware of the tactics they use. ... Distance...

Read More »