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Why do I feel disliked?

Feeling hated is a common symptom of anxiety, depression, and various personality disorders. If your everyday life is severely impacted, you have problems performing at work or school, or you start having thoughts of suicide, seek professional help. There are many ways to find a therapist to work with.

choosingtherapy.com - “Why Does Everyone Hate Me?” 10 Reasons You Feel This Way

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Does Everyone REALLY Hate You?

Most of the time, the feeling that people hate you stems from some negative internal thinking patterns and emotions, or having personal needs that go unmet. If you suffer from depression or anxiety, you may have this feeling quite often. Remember, it is not your fault that you feel this way.

Check In With Yourself

What you may actually be feeling is the result of internalized negative thoughts, or even just being down because you have some unmet needs. Your physical state can affect your emotional state, so being sure that you take care of your body is important. Before assuming everyone hates you, check in with yourself.

Consider the following potential roots of feeling like everyone hates you:

Are you hungry?

Are you tired?

Are you hydrated?

Have you relaxed lately?

Why Do I Think Everyone Hates Me?

Thinking that “Everyone hates me” typically points toward internal fears or maladaptive thinking patterns. The truth is that not everyone hates you, but you may feel this way because of the way you feel or think about yourself. The thinking patterns we use to navigate the world around us sometimes backfire in this way, especially if those thinking patterns are not based in reality.

Ten reasons you may feel like everyone hates you include:

1. You’re Personalizing External Factors

Personalization is one of the most common cognitive distortions people tend to have. This is when you view external factors or situations as having to do with you directly. This can reinforce negative thoughts you have about yourself using unrelated situations as “evidence” and tricking you into thinking that everyone hates you.

2. You’re a Highly Sensitive Person

Highly sensitive people tend to get stressed easily from direct or observed conflict. They may also get stressed from observing strong emotions or reactions in others. Because of this, if you’re a highly sensitive person, you may feel like people hate you when you’re actually overwhelmed.

3. You Have an Underlying Mental Health Issue

Anxiety, social anxiety, and depression can get you feeling down. Negative thoughts focused on your faults or mistakes are common with these disorders, and can lead to feelings of worthlessness or assumptions that the world hates you. This, of course, is not based in reality; instead, it’s emotional reasoning that comes from these disorders.

4. You’re Playing the Comparison Game On Social Media

Watching the curated lives of others unfold on social media can be tantalizing, but it can also lead to feelings of inadequacy and unrealistic expectations that you can’t reasonably meet. This can cause poor self-esteem and when you don’t have as much interaction or response online, this can make you think everyone hates you.

5. You’re Experiencing Loneliness

Loneliness is about connection with others, which is why you may feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by people. When you feel like you can’t connect with others, this may lead to reasoning that they hate you. The reality is likely that you have not found the right people or ways to connect with those around you.

6. You Have Low Self-esteem

Feeling like everyone hates you likely says more about how you feel about yourself. Suffering from low self-esteem can lead you to externalize the source of these negative views, surmising that people around you hate you.

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7. You Feel Insecure

Insecurity stems from fear. A lot of the time, this fear relates to the idea of rejection. If insecurity overwhelms you, it can lead you to thinking everyone hates you, giving you a reason to avoid those things your insecurities impact.

8. You’re Stuck In All-or-nothing Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking, or extreme thinking, is a cognitive distortion where you make a broad or general assumption based on little or no evidence, leading you to think you’re either all good or all bad. It doesn’t allow for shades of gray, so if you feel like you’re not the best, you’ll assume you’re the worst and everyone hates you.

9. You Have Perfectionist Thinking

Your self-imposed expectations may not allow you to have flaws, make mistakes, or be less than perfect. If you don’t live up to your expectations, you may feel like you’re not worthy, and like everyone hates you for your failings.

10. You Feel Stuck or Need a Change

Feeling trapped in a social or work situation that you don’t like may lead to resentment. You may feel the need for change, or like something needs to be fixed; however, the resentment leads to feeling like everyone around you hates you, which justifies your negative feelings about your environment. In order to cope with these feelings, you can try some self-care techniques, as well as cognitive checks and exercises. These techniques include cognitive reframing, journaling, and checking in with your support system. You can also address feeling like your hated by making sure to take care of your body and mind.

Here are ways to cope with feeling like everyone hates you:

Practice Cognitive Reframing

Cognitive reframing is a technique where you take a note of your thoughts and evaluate if they’re serving or hurting you. If the thoughts are harmful, consider whether there’s another way to look at your situation, or a different perspective you can take. Many times we get stuck ruminating over the same thing or situation from the same perspective.

Ask Yourself if This Is REALLY About You

Personalization is a common cognitive distortion or thinking pattern that places the focus or reason for external situations on yourself.1 For example, you assume that everyone giggling on the bus is giggling about how you’re dressed. This takes an unrelated, outside situation and makes it about you. A good first step is to recognize that other’s behavior may be motivated and focused on things outside yourself.

Practice Journaling

A technique called process journaling can be helpful if you’re finding that you believe the world hates you. Make a daily practice of journaling about situations that stand out to you, including what happened, what you felt, what you thought, and how you responded. Then, process whether the reaction was based on evidence or assumptions. This can help you reframe how you view the world.2

Check Your Social Supports

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Everyone has a support system of some sort, even if it’s just family or a partner. But if your support system isn’t very supportive, it can leave you feeling isolated. Occasionally it’s a good idea to evaluate friendships and relationships, and change the ones that do more harm than good. Positive support systems, consisting of family, friends, and resources show positive effects on happiness.3

Check Your Physical Health

Your physical health and perception of it can impact your mood.4 Your overall outlook on life and your place in the world around you can become fairly bleak when you’re not feeling well. Sometimes, feeling hated is more reflective of feeling sick or unwell vs. people actually hating you. Making sure to practice self-care.

Get Some Sleep!

There is an undeniable link between sleeping patterns and your mental and physical health.5 To get better sleep, set up a bedtime routine and avoid screen-time an hour before bed. If you’re getting enough sleep but still feel tired throughout the day, talk to your doctor about a sleep study to see if you have a sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, which can really impact your sleep quality and mood!6

Consider Your Social Environment

Your surroundings can negatively impact your outlook, especially if you’re not in a place or with people that make you feel like you belong.7 A sense of not belonging can be interpreted as being hated, but may be an indication that you don’t feel comfortable with or connected to anyone. I don’t usually suggest a geographical cure, but it may help to consider a move.

Consider Your Value & Career

If you feel trapped in a job that makes you unhappy or you’re doing something that provides little to no personal value, you might feel more stuck than hated. Even being underappreciated at work can negatively impact your mood and outlook.8 Consider whether a change is needed. Talking to your boss about a raise could also make a big difference to your mood.

When to Seek Professional Help

Feeling like everyone hates you can become debilitating. That general feeling can also be part of a set of symptoms that indicate something more serious is going on. Feeling hated is a common symptom of anxiety, depression, and various personality disorders. If your everyday life is severely impacted, you have problems performing at work or school, or you start having thoughts of suicide, seek professional help. There are many ways to find a therapist to work with. If you have insurance, call to see if they cover mental health treatment. If so, get a list of in-network providers in your area. If you don’t have or don’t want to use insurance, then using a therapist directory can be helpful.

Final Thoughts

Feeling like everyone hates you can be a sign of underlying mental health issues, but there are ways to get help. In addition to practicing cognitive reframing and journaling, getting better sleep, and considering your environment, you can always reach out to a therapist.

choosingtherapy.com - “Why Does Everyone Hate Me?” 10 Reasons You Feel This Way

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