Infatuation Rules
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Why do happy couples break up?

Personality Changes. Personality changes are a huge factor in the break up of otherwise happy couples. Usually both couples start off on the same page, and then a few years later one partner is getting a promotion and going to bed early, and the other is still going out all the time.

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Unfortunately, one of the downsides of adulting is that sometimes you have to make unglamorous decisions regarding your future. And sometimes those decisions include ending a perfectly good love story. Not because one of you betrayed the other, and not because the love isn't there. But just because, of, well, life. Things happen. In my time talking to couples, both as a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate, and a Planned Parenthood-Certified Responsibly Sexuality Educator, I've heard a lot of guilt and shame regarding letting go. A lot of people feel selfish choosing their own desires over that of their couple goals. Others are just too worried about breaking a heart. And others are just too gun shy to pull the trigger. If you find yourself in any of these situations, don't feel guilty. It's OK to put your needs first. And remember, you're not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own.

1. Kids

Maybe when you got together, you both laughed in the face of your parents when they asked about grandchildren. Fast forward to now and suddenly one of you has a ticking biological clock and the other wants to step on it. If you can't come to an agreement about your future family, it could be reason enough to call it quits.

2. Distance

Some coupes rock long-distance relationships. I mean, it takes a great deal of communication and commitment to make that work. But other couples, no matter how well-suited for each other, just can't bridge that gap.

3. Career Changes

What do you do if you get offered your dream job in California, but your love already has a dream job in New York? You both really (really) want to pursue those paths, but they're long paths. What can you do? Sometimes you have to do you.

4. Personality Changes

Personality changes are a huge factor in the break up of otherwise happy couples. Usually both couples start off on the same page, and then a few years later one partner is getting a promotion and going to bed early, and the other is still going out all the time. People change and grow apart and that's not always avoidable. It's also not always a bad thing.

5. Unhappiness

When I say "unhappiness" I don't mean actual, real misery. I just mean that nagging feeling that something isn't right in an otherwise good relationship. That undercurrent of malaise that you can't put your finger on. That gut feeling that you should move on, even though maybe you don't have a real, concrete reason.

6. Someone New

Oh, the fates are cruel. You have one perfectly great partner, who you love so much. And then the universe puts someone else in your life that you also fall for. What to do? Sometimes you honor your commitment and sometimes the right thing to do is to take the chance and move on. It's tough but it's life. Now that you know these six common reasons that happy couples break up, you can do what you need to do without guilt or shame. Heartbreak is an inevitable part of life. Sometimes your heart breaks, but sometimes you have to be the one to dish it out.

Images: Pixabay; Giphy (6)

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If that doesn't work, Steve suggests appealing to the "three Ps"—profess, provide and protect. "If you don't say to your man: 'Okay, look, next time she calls, do not leave us in the middle of the night. We're unprotected,'" he says. "Every man has it in his DNA to do these things when we love you.

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Before Jill married her husband of 13 years, she says she knew he was a mama's boy. Over the years, she's grown tired of coming in second.Steve says the first mistake women like Jill make is thinking they can change their men. "You think if you give him enough cookie, bake it just right, he'll straighten up," he says. "That's not what happens with a mama's boy."Men stay in this adolescent mind-set because their mothers set standards when they were boys and upheld those standards throughout their lives, Steve says. Wives must enter into their marriages with their own set of rules to stand a chance. "You have to start saying: 'Hey, look, you have to respect me. You have to be here to show your son how a man treats a woman. You have to be here to show your daughter how a man should treat her,'" he says. "'You can't do it if you're playing me second to your mama.'"If that doesn't work, Steve suggests appealing to the "three Ps"—profess, provide and protect. "If you don't say to your man: 'Okay, look, next time she calls, do not leave us in the middle of the night. We're unprotected,'" he says. "Every man has it in his DNA to do these things when we love you. When you call on it and require it, we rise to the occasion."

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