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Why do good relationships break up?

Here Are Some Reasons Why Romantic Relationships End: have different goals. someone does not want to change or grow. want to be alone. a major life event or trauma changed the relationship dynamic.

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Good relationships end all the time.

I used to believe that you could only end a relationship if something really bad happened. There had to be a reason why and it needed to be good enough to warrant ending it all. The fact that I wasn’t really that into it anymore or that I had different goals wasn’t enough of a reason. If the person was treating me well, then I should stay. But good, ok, or satisfactory relationships end all the time and that is ok.

Have ever felt like you can’t leave a relationship because the person treats you well?

I’ve heard this from so many clients and it makes sense why we feel this way. We romanticize long relationships even if they suck. We commend people who have stuck it out for 30 years without ever asking how they feel about being together for so long. Our goal is relationship longevity instead of relationships satisfaction. This doesn’t mean you should necessarily leave every relationship at the first sign of a struggle, but I want to validate that relationships can, will, and are allowed to end for a variety of reasons. We often only consider a break up “worth it” if there was infidelity or abuse. But, an “ok” relationship may have run it’s course and the people may have changes so much that they’re no longer compatible. There are so many reasons why good relationships end that have nothing to do with infidelity, abuse, or another extreme relationship violation.

Whitney Goodman, LMFT: Why Relationships End

Here Are Some Reasons Why Romantic Relationships End:

they don’t like how they’re being treated

no longer share the same interests

have different goals

someone does not want to change or grow

want to be alone

a major life event or trauma changed the relationship dynamic

no longer feel connected or in love

don’t share the same values

a relationship norm was violated (like infidelity)

they’ve become different people

want the relationship to end

difficulty compromising

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Do any of these reasons resonate with you? Have you ever been in a relationship that was “good,” but not what you wanted?

It Can Be Confusing When A Good Relationship Ends

If you’ve been on the receiving end of a breakup in a not that bad, ok, pretty good relationship…it can be downright confusing. And I don’t blame you for being confused.

Here are some affirmations you can use after a break up:

I know my worth.

I don’t need to be loved by everyone to love myself.

I don’t need a relationship to be whole.

Every relationship teaches me something – good, bad, or neutral. It’s ok if I can’t see, understand, or integrate the lesson right now.

I will love again.

I deserve healthy relationships.

I think ending a relationship (no matter what the reason), is one of the most painful experiences we go through as humans.

That’s why I created The Break Up Workbook.

I made this workbook for anyone who is grieving the loss of a relationship – whether it was years ago or today.

This workbook will help you navigate all the hard questions like,

Why do breakups hurt so bad?

Will I ever get over this?

Why do some relationships end?

Should I stay or should I go?

How can I tell if they’re doing the work to fix things?

Am I ready to date again?

Can I be friends with my ex?

Should I contact my ex?

It’s a 40 page digital workbook with:

13 worksheets and journal prompts

Scientific research about why breakups hurt

Breakup quotes

Link to my recommended reading

100’s of prompts to help you navigate this painful period

The workbook is digital, with white backgrounds and black font so it can easily be printed. I also have an email list (so you never miss anything!) and a book. You can also find me on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok!

sitwithwhit.com - Why Good Relationships End - sitwithwhit.com

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