Infatuation Rules
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Why do couples break up at 7 years?

On average, a couple makes it around seven years before they decide to divorce. Many times the impetus for filing for divorce is an extramarital affair. This is where the term seven-year itch comes from — one party becomes restless in the marriage and looks elsewhere for fulfillment.

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There are many reasons why people choose to move forward with divorce. Money plays a significant role in many divorces, but every situation is different, and people make this choice for reasons that are both relevant and deeply personal. If you are facing the prospect of divorce, you know how difficult this situation can be. You’ve probably heard of the “seven-year itch.” This refers to the notion that people often choose to divorce after approximately seven years together. There is nothing mystical that happens at this point in a marriage, but there are various reasons that can make it more likely that a couple will divorce somewhere around this particular point in their relationship. It may be helpful for you to understand more about these reasons and how they may affect you.

What factors influence divorce?

No one enters a marriage assuming he or she will divorce in the future. While you probably were not thinking about a potential end to your marriage as you were walking down the aisle or while on your honeymoon, it’s very possible you could find yourself in this position one day. Why do people get divorced, and what influences the timing of divorce?

On average, a couple makes it around seven years before they decide to divorce. Many times the impetus for filing for divorce is an extramarital affair. This is where the term seven-year itch comes from — one party becomes restless in the marriage and looks elsewhere for fulfillment. Experts who study marriage and divorce trends have said that for most couples, the first four years are the honeymoon period. Around the end of that time is when many begin experiencing trouble. After a few years of struggling and fighting, some couples are ready to call it quits. At or around the seven-year mark, the spouses either decide to end the marriage or adapt to each other “for better or worse.”

Reasons for choosing this path

There are many reasons why you might chose to end your marriage. Some of the most common include disagreements over money, infidelity, lack of communication, passive aggressive behavior and more. Other reasons for divorce include longer life expectancy, which may compel older couples to divorce, or the mental and emotional strain that comes with having young children.

Protecting your future

During a divorce, there is a lot at stake. Your financial well-being, your role as a parent and your long-term interests are all on the line. With a strong and experienced New Jersey legal advocate working on your behalf, you can pursue a future that allows you to have security and stability. Whether you were married for two weeks, seven years or three decades, you will find significant benefit in reaching out for help as early as possible in this process.

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What are the three C's of a happy relationship?

A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment.

February may be the month of love, but it takes more than chocolates, flowers and dinner dates to make a relationship work. A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C’s: Communication, Compromise and Commitment. Whether starting a new relationship or celebrating decades of marriage, here is a refresher course in the three C’s:

Communication

Think about how to use communication to make your partner feel needed, desired and appreciated. Communication is verbal and non-verbal, so actions speak volumes, and remember that listening is a major component of healthy communication. It’s not always what is said, but how it is said, that’s important. If a couple communicates with aggression, the silent treatment or abusive language or actions, it signals concerns that might best be addressed by a professional.

Compromise

Two people in a relationship bring individual experiences, thoughts, behaviors and personalities to the table. Finding common ground means expressing opinions, understanding and accepting differences and agreeing on compromise. If both people feel heard and understood, it helps prevent one person from feeling like they’re giving in, which can build resentment over time.

Commitment

Commitment means putting each other and the relationship first. This requires a lot of giving, and certainly some sacrifice, but the payoff is a relationship that brings true joy and fulfillment to each other’s lives. Knowing that each person is committed to working through challenges and growing together builds trust and intimacy, and helps release the fears and doubts that hold couples back. Relationships can be challenging, and can take a toll on mental, emotional and physical health, mood, or even focus at work. For help with any relationship or personal concern, contact your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) provided by ACI Specialty Benefits at 800.932.0034 or eapinfo@acispecialtybenefits.com.

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