Photo: Anete Lusina

Why Being silent is powerful?

Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.

hbr.org - Don't Underestimate the Power of Silence - Harvard Business Review

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Many of us have forgotten (or even fear) quiet. We live in a world full of noise and chatter. A world wherein our daily routines are inundated with distractions and responsibilities. This practice, called the Sphere of Silence, is a 60-minute routine that can help you stay grounded, focused, and most importantly, remain hopeful when your mind wants to spiral. There is one ground rule: Follow the below steps in complete silence. Last year, the world went into lockdown and our lives changed dramatically. “I’m so tired” was already a status symbol, but burnout and it’s long-lasting impact on our health, has increased. The lines between work and play have blurred.

This may be most true for the youngest generations.

Students have not been back in a physical classroom for more than a year, new graduates are stepping into an economic downturn, and the workforce itself is changing. Even as some regions slowly open up, the pall of uncertainty reigns. I work closely with many young people as a part of my personal mission to guide the next generation of leaders, who I believe have the potential to shape a better world for the future. Over 50% of my company’s workforce compromises millennials, and in the pre-Covid world, we offered an ongoing in-person mentoring program. Over the last year, many of my colleagues and mentees have reached out to me expressing feelings of frustration and angst. My advice to them always begins with reassurance. Though many of us think we are alone in our feelings, they are not unusual or uncommon. To get through a difficult phase over which we have no control, we can focus on something over which we do have control.

You have probably heard these “words of wisdom” before. But do you know how to apply them?

For over 30 years, I’ve started my day with a 60-minute routine to help me stay grounded, focused, and most importantly, remain hopeful when my mind wants to spiral. I call it the Sphere of Silence.

The Sphere of Silence

When I was a child, my grandfather lived with me and my family. Every morning he would wake up at the crack of dawn and sit in complete silence for an hour. Even as the rest of the household stirred awake and the various morning rituals unfolded around him, he stayed still and quiet. Nothing could detract him during that time. He referred to it as the Mouna Vratham, a ritual of meditative silence long practiced in Indian Hindu tradition. He believed that abstaining from speaking for a set period each day brought him inner peace and made him a better listener. Over the years, as I traveled to different parts of the world, initially for education and then later for work, I discovered that a ritual practice of silence is not unique to any religion or culture. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have all advocated the practice of silence in one form or another. Though my grandfather taught me the practice at a young age, it was many years before I truly learned to appreciate it. After completing my university education in London, I took a gap year to travel through Europe and spent some time in Italy where I stayed at a Franciscan friary for some time. I arrived just before Lent and discovered that the Brothers at the friary would spend the entire 40-day period in silence. I was encouraged to follow the practice. It was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. When you are forced to be silent you have to find other ways to communicate, which means you have to keep your message very simple. This forces you to declutter your thought process. It was during these weeks that I learned that silence is not just for prayer. Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.

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The Routine

The Sphere of Silence is broken into three segments of 30 minutes, 20 minutes, and 10 minutes each. If you are just starting out, you can try a shortened version by slicing time off each of the segments, but I highly recommend working your way up to the complete 60 minutes for optimal benefits. Your aim should be to complete a 21-day cycle without any breaks. When you start, you will think it is easy. Then the initial inspiration will fade and reality will set in. Fight through this phase and stick to the routine. Forming a habit takes time, but eventually, it will become second nature. When I first began practicing the Sphere of Silence regularly, some of the earliest changes I noticed within myself came around that 21-day mark.

The Prep

The ground rule, as the name indicates, is to keep complete silence. The entire 60-minute practice must be done with no distractions from the outside world, so switch off all your devices and find a quiet spot away from others. Have a journal and a pen ready. Also, pick up a book you’ve been meaning to read for a while and set it near you. While you don’t necessarily have to practice the Sphere of Silence in the morning, I’ve found that doing so gives me a boost of productivity and calm that helps me combat the stresses of the day.

The First 30 Minutes: Goal Setting

My experiences at the friary inspired the process for this first segment of the practice, which is also the most important. I’ve broken it down into three 10-minute sets. Pick up your journal and spend the first 10 minutes writing your short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals. Then, dedicate the next 10-minute set to assessing your progress on the goals you set the previous day. When you write your goals down, you are forced to be very clear about what you want to accomplish. When you do this every morning, you are waking up to those goals, asking questions about your progress, and recalibrating your plans if needed. This will motivate you to focus on moving forward and complete the tasks necessary for achieving whatever success looks like to you. Use the final 10 minutes to take note of any unmet goals (especially short-term or daily goals) and assess the reasons why you have not achieved them. The events of tomorrow develop from what you do today, so understanding yesterday is the key to shaping tomorrow. This is when you pick up that book you bought many moons ago but never got around to reading. The ground rule for this segment is to choose a book that teaches you new things and enriches your mind. When you make reading a part of your morning routine — when your mind is rested and fresh and ready to absorb new ideas — you begin your day filed with motivation as opposed to fear of the unknown. This part of the process was adapted from my time at the Ramakrishna Mission in Singapore, where I stayed after completing high school. The Mission is a prominent global welfare and spiritual organization that is involved in charitable activities around the world. As a part of my duties as an apprentice, I had to read a set of books and summarize them for the library’s catalogue. If I had questions, I had to note them down and discuss them during mealtimes with the Elders. This is where I developed the habit of reading in complete silence and taking down notes as I read. I found that by writing down my learnings and insights, I was able to come up with action points to implement into my own life based on the ideas in the book.

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So, spend the first 10 minutes of this step reading a chapter of your book. Then, use the remaining 10 minutes to write down a summary of what you just read, by hand. By the time you finish the book, you will have engaged in an extra layer of processing, allowing for deeper retention and analyses, and strengthening your short-term memory.

The Final 10 Minutes: Mindfulness

This final segment is an important grounding process, like a cool-down after a good workout. Use these last 10 minutes for self-reflection and, if you believe in a higher power, for communicating with God, the Universe, your spirituality, or whatever you prefer. My grandfather inspired this final process. For him, that hour of silence each morning held a spiritual dimension that led up to his daily morning prayers. The approach is entirely up to you, but the objective of this segment is to be present and pay attention to your feelings. The added benefit of silence is it acts as a natural filter to your thoughts. It gives you time to think about what you are feeling and what those feelings mean to you. I have realized that this part of the practice is also a powerful way to deal with anger. It allows you to harness your calm during stressful situations and mindfully choose to stay out of negativity.

The Result

When you practice the Sphere of Silence without a break for 21 days, you will likely notice immediate changes in how you perceive the world around you, begin to acquire an intense insight into everything you do, and find a greater sense of balance. Many of us have forgotten (or even fear) quiet. We live in a world full of noise and chatter. A world wherein our daily routines are inundated with distractions and responsibilities. This practice is an investment in yourself. It is a way to take control of the remaining 23 hours of your day. Projecting the day in your mind before it begins, making decisions, and watching them manifest — all these things have a deeper purpose than simply taking control. When you see your vision come to life, this ultimately gives you confidence and a deeper understanding of who you are. You learn to trust yourself, are able to count on your decisions, and feel more secure amid the noise and uncertainties around you.

hbr.org - Don't Underestimate the Power of Silence - Harvard Business Review

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