Infatuation Rules
Photo by Alexander Suhorucov Pexels Logo Photo: Alexander Suhorucov

Who is the perfect partner for a narcissist?

People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.

How do broken people act?
How do broken people act?

Broken people are not happy people, deep down inside they are experiencing feelings of hopelessness or despair. But they may not even realize that...

Read More »
What marriages last the longest?
What marriages last the longest?

While the national average marriage length is just under 20 years, couples in Maine and West Virginia typically have the longest-lasting unions....

Read More »

Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people.

Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. This is because they see it as a challenge, and they will find more entertainment in taking down someone impressive. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves — they like to show off their partner in public, but abuse them behind the scenes.

Ultimately, it's all about control.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is hard work. Even if things appear to be going well, there's no telling what's going to set off their narcissistic rage. They may not always mean to hurt their partners, but more often than not, they do. It's up to you to decide if you're willing to take the risk, or try and make the relationship work. Just bear in mind it'll be emotionally draining, and you may end up getting discarded anyway. A common misconception is that narcissists go for the weak, because they are easier to manipulate. In fact, narcissists prefer to try and hook someone in who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire. That way, they feel more accomplished if they succeed in tearing them down. Shannon Thomas, the author of the book "Healing from Hidden Abuse," told Business Insider that whatever strength a narcissist zeros in on, "they turn that around and destroy it." "I've seen that a lot of folks get targeted if they have things like strong family relationships, if they have career success, especially if that career has any sort of public face to it," she said. "They get targeted if they are in good shape, they exercise a lot, and take care of their appearance. I've also seen people specifically targeted if they are of a religious faith, then the person either tries to get them to do things that go against their faith principles, or somehow break [them] down." According to psychotherapist Karen Arluck, who was answering a post on Quora, generally speaking, most people with narcissistic personality disorder want to feel good about themselves, so they gravitate towards people who will make that happen. Either they will feel special through association, or they will feel powerful in taking down someone who appears mentally, physically, or emotionally strong. There are four types of people who narcissists tend to be attracted to, according to Arluck:

What to do when a man stops putting in effort?
What to do when a man stops putting in effort?

A Complete Guide On What To Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Making An Effort Make Things Right In Your Relationship. Get Him To Treat You Like A...

Read More »
How do you rebuild trust with someone you hurt?
How do you rebuild trust with someone you hurt?

Rebuilding trust when you've hurt someone Consider why you did it. Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you'll first want to check...

Read More »

People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people. Someone who validates their feelings, overlooks their flaws, and who isn't likely to leave them during the narcissistic abuse. "Of course, many narcissists are chasing a unicorn, that often does not exist," Arluck wrote. "They tend to have unrealistic expectations for their partner, as well as unstable object constancy, which frequently leads them to being unhappy in relationships once the initial sparkle has worn off, and their partner shows their more human and flawed sides." It may appear like narcissists go for certain types of people and try to destroy them as a reflection of their own low self esteem. This may be true for a sub-type of narcissists called closet narcissists, but for exhibitionist and toxic narcissists the joy comes from the destruction of others. More often than not, a relationship with a narcissist is all about control. If they feel they have power over their partner, a narcissist will see the relationship as successful. "I think it's more just like entertainment sometimes, and control to be able to take someone who had this really great life and be part of watching them fall," Thomas said. "Or someone who had really good self care and took care of themselves, and was really calm, not anxious, and not depressed, and watching them fall apart. That journey is what makes it diabolical, and it's why they enjoy it."

How many times a week should a couple do it?
How many times a week should a couple do it?

How much sex should a couple have? Once a week is a common baseline, experts say. That statistic depends slightly on age: 40- and 50-year-olds tend...

Read More »
What is cold mother syndrome?
What is cold mother syndrome?

Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or...

Read More »
Am I in love or attached?
Am I in love or attached?

Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of...

Read More »
Which princess was married to her own father?
Which princess was married to her own father?

Their wedding took place at St Paul's Cathedral in 1981 and made her Princess of Wales, a role in which she was enthusiastically received by the...

Read More »