Photo: Malte Luk

Who gets more attached in a relationship?

Nevertheless, when guys fall, they fall hard — and once they're hooked (even if it happens slowly) they're almost always a bit more attached to the relationship than their female counterparts are.

marieclaire.com - New Study: Men Get Attached More Easily Than Women - Marie Claire

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Do men get attached more easily than women? And if so, does that represent a sea change in gender behaviors?

The researchers behind a new survey from Match.com (opens in new tab) seem to think that might be the case. Men apparently fall in love more quickly than women: 54 percent of guys say they've felt love at first sight, for instance, compared to 44 percent of women. Guys are also less interested in having time to themselves, away from their significant other: 77 percent of women say having personal space is "very important," compared to just 58 percent of men, and only 23 percent of guys think it's crucial to have regular nights out with their pals, as opposed to 35 percent of the ladies. In a USA Today story about all this, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, who helped develop the survey, said, "Men are now expressing some traditionally female attitudes, while women are adopting some of those long attributed to men." Social historian Stephanie Coontz, who collaborated with Fisher on the project, added, "It's just amazing confirmation about what has changed in the last 40 years." If you ask me, maybe what guys will admit to has changed, but as far as I can tell, men have always seemed a little bit more sappy (in a good way!) than women. Sure, ladies might be more open to possibility than men, and they're more willing to give guys they're not certain about a chance. Nevertheless, when guys fall, they fall hard — and once they're hooked (even if it happens slowly) they're almost always a bit more attached to the relationship than their female counterparts are. Why's that? It might have to do with the kinds of intense personal relationships (opens in new tab) women tend to have outside of their romantic partnership. Women are more likely to be emotive and confessional with their friends. They like playing the role of arm-chair psychologists. And when a man gets into a relationship, he comes to depend almost exclusively on his girlfriend for emotional support and amateur therapy sessions — whereas women often continue to turn to their closest friends for help through any psychological difficulties or blue periods.

Think I'm on to something here? Or totally off the mark?

The study also had some other hope-inspiring things to report:

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What is the correct age for love?

It's important to consider your child as an individual. Consider their emotional maturity and sense of responsibility. For many kids, 16 seems to be an appropriate age, but it may be entirely suitable for a mature 15-year-old to go on a date, or to make your immature 16-year-old wait a year or two.

healthline.com - What Age Is Appropriate for Dating: A Guide for Parents - Healthline

When your child mentions dating, or a girlfriend or boyfriend, try to get an idea of what those concepts mean to them. Take note of how your child reacts when you discuss dating. It could be a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but if your child is unable to even discuss it with you without getting defensive or upset, take that as a sign that they probably aren’t ready.

Other things to consider include the following.

Is your child really interested in someone in particular, or are they just trying to keep up with what friends are doing?

Do you think your son or daughter would tell you if something went wrong?

Is your child generally confident and happy?

Does your child’s physical development match their emotional development?

Be aware that for many tweens and young teenagers, dating amounts to socializing in a group. While there may be interest between two in particular, it’s not double-dating so much as a group heading out or meeting up at the movies or the mall. This kind of group stuff is a safe and healthy way to interact with members of the opposite sex without the awkwardness that a one-on-one scenario can bring. Think of it as dating with training wheels. So, when is a child ready for one-on-one dating? There’s no right answer. It’s important to consider your child as an individual. Consider their emotional maturity and sense of responsibility. For many kids, 16 seems to be an appropriate age, but it may be entirely suitable for a mature 15-year-old to go on a date, or to make your immature 16-year-old wait a year or two.

You can also consider what other parents are doing. Are lots of kids the same as yours already dating in the true sense of the word?

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