Infatuation Rules
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Who falls in love faster guys or girls?

The survey and numerous psychological studies have found men fall in love faster than women, said Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and New York City-based senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, in an interview with the Wall Street Journal.

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Men fall in love faster than women, study finds By: health enews Staff Is it possible to see someone across the room and fall in love? Some laugh at the notion of love at first sight, while others say they knew they found their soulmate the moment they saw them. Match.com asked over 5,000 singles a variety of questions related to relationships during their annual “Singles in America” survey. They found that 59 percent of men and 49 percent of women believe in love at first sight, and 41 percent of men and 29 percent of women said they have experienced it. The survey and numerous psychological studies have found men fall in love faster than women, said Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and New York City-based senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, in an interview with the Wall Street Journal. “Men are so visual,” she said. “They see a woman who appeals to them physically, and it will trigger the romantic love system faster.”

So what makes people fall in love?

“I think falling in love is when we see potential for our romantic expectations to be fulfilled. That is, we might see someone and then think, ‘Hey, they have the potential to fulfill my romantic expectations.’” says Nick French, family therapist at Advocate Behavioral Health in Des Plaines, Ill. “It’s like a flash of opportunity that we can’t help but take a risk on because there’s a chance this person will help complete our expectations.” Whether it was love at first sight or years of friendship leading up to a romantic relationship, French says that healthy relationships are decided by the people in the relationship. A helpful way to determine if the relationship is healthy is to ask three questions developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and creator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.

Accessibility: Can I reach the other partner? Responsiveness: Can I rely on the other partner to respond to me emotionally? Engagement: Do I know the other partner will value me and stay close?

“If a couple asks themselves these questions and answers “Yes” to them, then they’re doing pretty good,” French says.

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Do I like them or am I lonely?

Another way to determine your true feelings is to get some space from the person and spend your time doing other things like hanging out with friends, pursuing your hobbies, or volunteering. If you don't find yourself missing the person when you're busy with these other things, then you may have just been a bit lonely.

This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan . Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. This article has been viewed 1,504,737 times.

Article Summary

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Sometimes it can be hard to figure out whether you actually like someone or if you’re just feeling a little lonely. To try to tell the difference, see if you’re attracted to them by observing whether you think about them all the time and whether you’re excited to get to know them more. If you don’t feel these things, then you might not actually like that person. Another way to determine your true feelings is to get some space from the person and spend your time doing other things like hanging out with friends, pursuing your hobbies, or volunteering. If you don’t find yourself missing the person when you’re busy with these other things, then you may have just been a bit lonely. For more advice from our Relationship co-author, including how to avoid a rebound relationship, read on!

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