Which years are hardest in marriage?

Third and Fifth Year Almost 20% of divorces happened during the first five years. ... Another study showed that over 67.5% of marriages end with divorce due to poor communication, followed by the inability to resolve issues at 43%. More items... •

lovingatyourbest.com - What Are the Hardest Years of Marriage Full of Challenges

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While every marriage is different, all marriages will have ups and downs. It is common for newlyweds to get caught up in the excitement of their romance while in the honeymoon stage and assume things will stay the same throughout their marriage. Once that phase is over and reality sets in, that's when the challenges set in. It is usually after a year or two of marriage. Many marriage counselors suggest that knowing about these tough years before can help couples navigate through the challenges that come their way. So, which are the hardest years of marriage?

The first year of marriage

This year can be challenging as it serves as your transition year. Some couples who have lived together for some time before marriage may find this year easy as they are well-adjusted to this living situation. However, there is still a considerable difference in the degree of commitment marriage brings into the relationship. Yes, you may still be in the honeymoon stage, but after 10 or 11 months of being together, the reality of married life confronts you. You must work out issues involving finances, your careers, shared engagements, etc. Taking care of the home and your other living expenses, such as food and utility bills, and managing a life-work balance can be some of the issues you will face together as a couple. Moreover, the year (and months) leading up to the wedding is usually the most stressful. Planning for weddings gets in the way of your daily life. There is also a "post-wedding anti-climax," where the two of you have been working hard for your big day, and then you have to plan your honeymoon. And just a few weeks after that, you have to return to your regular life. If you haven't bought a home or apartment yet, this point in your marriage is when you start to think about that. House or apartment hunting is a stressful activity for any couple. You should consider saving up for your down payment and finding a mortgage loan provider. You also have to juggle your other living expenses, while saving up for your home as a married couple. Improving your credit score becomes an issue, as it will have an impact on whether or not you can afford to buy a home or qualify for a home loan.

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Sternberg's theory of love, infatuation is rooted in passion; you're wildly attracted to the person, you're excited to see them, the sex is great, etc. Meanwhile, romantic love is rooted in both passion and intimacy; you have all the ingredients of infatuation, coupled with friendship, trust, support, etc.

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2. Ask probing questions

You need to get beyond the person’s day-to-day, and into the stuff of their dreams. If you’ve been dating for a while—at least a few months—you should feel free to ask where they see their life going, if they want kids, if they envision getting married one day, if they want to travel, what kind of life they want to have. This is how you see if you’re evolving in the same direction, and if you can complement each other along the way. It’s shocking to me how many people don’t ask the deeper questions, and end up wasting time with someone who isn’t in it for the same reasons (i.e. marriage, kids, commitment) that they are.

3. Talk on the phone

When I was dating, a weird sign developed among every person who was seriously invested in building a relationship with me: They’d call me on the phone. Hearing someone’s voice and sharing stories verbally, even when you can’t be physically with the person, creates far more of a bond and shows you’re committed to the work. It takes ten seconds to send a text; it takes set-aside time to make a phone call. Prioritize it, and command it from your partner.

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