Photo: Kamaji Ogino

Which gender is more mature?

Maturity is often described as a comparison between which sex is stronger: women or men. Studies have shown that girls mature earlier than boys, the same way women do than men. It is reported that women reach proper psychological maturity much earlier than men, at the typical age of 32.

medium.com - Men or Women: The More Mature Gender | by Universal Intelligence

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Men or Women: The More Mature Gender

By Alpha One

Why girls are more mature than boys and men are more mature than women. Maturity is often described as a comparison between which sex is stronger: women or men. Studies have shown that girls mature earlier than boys, the same way women do than men. It is reported that women reach proper psychological maturity much earlier than men, at the typical age of 32. Men are said to mature 10–11 years later than women which means that while women reach proper maturity by 30, men reach that point by 40.

Maturity demands that a person reach a level of psychosocial development where he or she learns to act, reciprocate and make decisions while taking ownership of those actions. So if women mature earlier, does it mean they are also more mature?

Women’s brains are wired for social interactions. But this does not mean they are more mature than men. A study shows that men are more emotionally mature than women except that they repress how they feel as society dictates them to act strong and manly.

Love

A study in the UK gathered 2,000 men and women to study how each fall in love. Women fell in love 5 months into the dating stage while men realize it at the three month mark. Although it takes women to fall in love longer, the study found that they are able to express it faster. Women say the L word by the sixth month while men are only able to say it by the ninth month. Believe in love at first sight? A survey studied which sex believes in love at first sight. 10,000 people in relationships worldwide participated in the survey. The results showed 48 percent of men had fallen in love at first sight, while only 28 percent of women did.

Career

In the past, women and men took on different roles. Men worked being the primary bread winner, while women took care of their offspring, cooked and cleaned. Today, those roles have changed as more women have joined the workforce where traditional households are only comprised of 31 percent in the population. Women have forged a career for themselves while at the same time still take care of the household. This is because women are wired to multi task instead of focus on one particular line of work. Men, on the other hand, are wired to have focus. This is the reason why they are mostly found in leadership roles and are able to climb the ladder in societal, political or career situations. One entrepreneur, albeit a woman, has expressed her challenges in the office setting where she said: Over the years, I have hired outstanding women — educated, intelligent and highly articulate. Yet, I am exhausted. I have become profoundly tired of being a therapist and a babysitter, of being drawn into passive-aggressive mental games and into constantly questioning my own worth as a manager. She noticed that women employees quit for more emotional reasons like: stay home to “figure out what to do next” while male employees quit with a plan in mind. Perhaps this is the reason why the world is populated with more men who grow powerful nations and run successful business empires. Men are able to focus on the task without getting their personal emotions in the way. Men are wired to resolve issues while women are wired to dissect each and every aspect of the issue. Women’s ability to see thru situations encourages creativity and progress.

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In a paper published by the Anita Borg Institute for Women and Technology entitled The Case for Investing in Women, it details a comprehensive summary of studies that prove more women in the work force is better for business.

Findings include:

An economist from Carnegie Mellon found that teams that included at least one female member had a collectively higher IQ than teams that had just men When Fortune 500 companies had at least three female directors, several key factors increased: The return on invested capital jumped over 66%, return on sales went up 42%, and return on equity increased by 53%. Gallup found that companies with more diversity on staff have a 22% lower turnover rate A 2012 study on women’s participation in IT patents found that patents with mixed gender teams were cited 30% to 40% more than similar patents with all-male teams. Studies in 17 different countries in all different industries found that across the board, having a larger number of women on a team accounts for greater psychological safety, team confidence, group experimentation, and team efficiency.

The Essence of Emotional Maturity

Before tallying up the score and deciding which sex is more mature, it is important to capture the real essence of maturity. How can a person be mature and what determines full maturity?

Maturity of men and women varies in certain degrees depending on the outside sources that influences the individual into reacting to a certain situation. It is the ability to respond to the situation in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive as we react from our emotions first hand and act accordingly depending on learned behavior. Below is a summary of Kevin FitzMaurice’s six levels of maturity and responsibility.

Level 1 : Emotional Responsibility

This involves taking over emotional responsibility where “You make me so mad…” becomes “I feel mad when you…”. It looks inward to express what is felt instead of pointing fingers and playing the blame game.

Level 2 : Emotional Honesty

“To thine own self be true,” is the primary goal at this level of maturity. It is about always being true to what one feels. One does not hide, stuff, suppress, what is being felt. Instead, one honestly experiences a feeling or a moment.

Level 3 : Emotional Openness

This level concerns a person’s willingness to share feelings in an appropriate manner and at appropriate times.

Level 4 : Emotional Assertiveness

This level recognises the need for others. It is coupled with positive self-expression where one takes the time to think about the situation before reacting. This is done thru:

Asking for help to grieve a loss.

Asking for time and space alone to process feelings.

Asking to be heard out without advice or judgment.

Being able to accept compliments with a simple, “Thank you.”

Expressing what you are feeling while giving the other person permission to feel differently. Expressing what you are feeling without requiring others to understand or appreciate your feelings.

Level 5 : Emotional Understanding

Emotional understanding requires total acceptance of one’s self-concept. It is to accept that there is a good side and a bad side to every person and that one understands the perils of self-concepts to one’s individuality. There is no static concept of oneself, rather it is a living process that changes over time in different situations. This level of maturity fully understands that life is to be experienced instead of being filed as right or wrong. This manifests when one is empowered by understanding rather than blaming or judging.

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Level 6 : Emotional Detachment

At this level, the person lives without the burden of self-concepts, group-concepts, and thing-concepts. Such a person is only aware of the self as a process, a sensing being, an experiencing being, a living vessel, as unknowable and untrappable–because the self is alive and not static or fixed. After defining what needs to be defined, can a majority arrive at a conclusion without stepping on egos? The more reactive would have to be the less mature one in this case.

Summing it up:

Women offer more creative perspectives whereas men make final decisions and aggressive at following them. It is true that girls mature faster than boys the same way women does over men. But it does not mean women are more mature than men. Maturity is about responding in an appropriate manner in any given situation. Although men fail at expressing at the emotional department, they take their time and stick to a decision. They do not change their minds thrice and aggressively puts their foot down on matters they are passionate about. Men do not rant on social media about other men. Men are rarely consulted with the mundane. That is because when the most important issues rise, like strategies on political warfare or taking the garbage out, men do not whine over it. The more mature gender contemplates over a decision, maybe sleeps on it, makes the decision and tackles the dirty work head on. There may be a gender revolution on the rise, but a truly mature culture understands that both are needed to function well. Women have become the men they wanted to marry and feminists have forgotten the real causes they are fighting and instead focus rather on denigrating masculinity. In a piece written by Camille Paglia, entitled It’s a Man’s World, and It Always Will Be, she perfectly describes the balance between the sexes: …without strong men as models to either embrace or (for dissident lesbians) to resist, women will never attain a centered and profound sense of themselves as women. It is men who heft and weld the giant steel beams that frame our office buildings, and it is men who do the hair-raising work of insetting and sealing the finely tempered plate-glass windows of skyscrapers 50 stories tall. The modern economy, with its vast production and distribution network, is a male epic, in which women have found a productive role — but women were not its author. Until Feminists realize this concept and fully accept the supporting role, it will always be clear who the more mature gender is.