Infatuation Rules
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Where to touch a girl when you hug her?

Keep your hands on the back of her waist if she intends to keep hers on your shoulders. Lean in closely and maybe even give a light kiss on her cheek or neck. Hug her tight and never be the first one to back away. Don't worry about it too much.

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What makes relationships last?
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Article Summary

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Hugging a girl is a great way to show affection, whether you like her as just a friend or something more. If she’s a girl you like romantically, wait for a moment when you’re both feeling relaxed and comfortable together. Try to get a sense of how she feels by keeping an eye on her body language. If she makes eye contact, smiles, and leans in close to you while you’re talking, she may be interested in getting cozy with you. Just to be sure, you can say something like, “Is it okay if I hug you?” or “I’d really love to hug you right now.” If you get the green light, lock eyes with her, smile, and move in close. Then, slowly reach out and put your arms around her. Depending on how tall she is, you can either reach down and put your arms around her waist or wrap them around her shoulders. Keep the hug warm and close, and let it linger for a few moments. The longer the hug, the more romantic and intimate it will feel, so you might want to keep it a little shorter if it’s a first date or you’re not sure how she feels about you yet. When you’re done, gently pull back. If you want, you can hold her hands for a moment or reach up to stroke her hair before you completely break contact. As you get more comfortable with her, try mixing it up with different kinds of hugs. For instance, you can try standing beside her and slipping an arm around her waist, or put your arms around her from behind and give her a kiss on the cheek. If you’re going for a friendly hug instead of a romantic one, keep it low-key and casual. Smile at her and approach with your arms open so she knows you’re going for a hug. You can even say something like, “Come here, gimme a hug!” Lean in and wrap your arms around her, letting your hands rest between her shoulder blades. This will feel less intimate than a hug around her waist. If you want, you can also give her a quick pat on the back. To keep the hug from feeling awkward, don’t hold it for more than a couple seconds, especially if you don’t know her that well. When you’re done, step back and gently release her. Whether it’s friendly or romantic, respect her wishes if she pulls away or says “no” to a hug. If she likes you but isn’t a hugger, you can always try alternatives like a handshake, a fist bump, or a high-five. For more tips, including how to learn different hugging positions, read on!

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What counts as mentally abusive?

Emotional abuse involves attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. This type of abuse doesn't involve physical violence, though it might involve threats of violence directed toward you or your loved ones. It's characterized by a person's words, actions, and the consistency of these behaviors.

You might be familiar with many of the obvious signs of emotional abuse and manipulation. But when you’re in an abusive situation, it’s easy to miss the subtle early signs that build up to a a persistent undercurrent of abusive behavior. Emotional abuse involves attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. This type of abuse doesn’t involve physical violence, though it might involve threats of violence directed toward you or your loved ones. It’s characterized by a person’s words, actions, and the consistency of these behaviors. Abuse may start gradually, but it happens again and again. People of any age or gender can abuse or experience abuse. And abuse doesn’t just happen in the context of romantic relationships. The person abusing you could be your spouse or romantic partner — but they might also be your business partner, parent, caretaker, or even your adult child.

Regardless, you don’t deserve the abuse, and it’s definitely not your fault.

Continue reading to learn how to recognize the signs of emotional abuse and get some guidance on what to do next.

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