When should you sleep with someone after a date?

The INSIDER Summary: In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average.

insider.com - This is how long you should wait to sleep with someone, study says

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People are waiting longer than you think. Unsplash/Matthew Hamilton

The INSIDER Summary:

In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average. There are a lot of questions when you first begin dating someone, but one of the biggest is when exactly you should take the plunge and sleep together. Although this will vary with every couple, a new study gives some insight into how long most people wait — and it might be longer than you think. The survey, conducted by Groupon, asked 2,000 adults about dating habits and found that, on average, eights dates was deemed the "acceptable" amount of time to wait before having sex with a new partner. This blasts past the old cliché of waiting three dates before getting intimate. This varied across genders, too. The average person who identified as a man was cool with waiting five dates, but the average person who identified as a woman leaned more towards waiting nine dates. But it's not just sex that people wait for. Most participants told researchers that they wait until the second date before having their first kiss. Only 17% of participants said that if it goes well that they "always" kiss on a first date. But the good news, at least if you're a millennial, is that you may be waiting a little less time to see if there will be a second date. Millenials surveyed said that they followed up within 48 hours to set up a second date, while older participants said that they waited three days on average. Obviously, this survey is far from conclusive — everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to physical intimacy. But this is a good reminder than any good relationship can and should move at a speed you're comfortable with, all you have to do is talk about it.

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What is the average time for no contact?

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Some people try to use the no-contact rule as a form of manipulation (i.e., a way to get your ex to miss you so much, they want you back). But despite what some people will tell you on the internet, no contact is not particularly effective for getting an ex back. Just because some people have exes who reached out to them after a period of no contact doesn't mean this will be the case for everyone. Moreover, trying to reduce your former partner to a formula or trying to control their behavior to meet your own needs is not very empathetic. Attempting to use the no-contact rule this way may be a sign that you have your own inner work to do that's a barrier to your relationship working. This strategy can also be unhealthy for you because it keeps you psychologically attached to a past relationship, slowing down your healing process. Instead, the no-contact rule should be about you and helping yourself move on from your ex. It's an integral tool of self-empowerment. You want to get to the place where you're able to say, "With or without you, my life is going to be amazing."

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