When should you sleep with a guy?

insider.com - This is how long you should wait to sleep with someone, study says

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People are waiting longer than you think. Unsplash/Matthew Hamilton

The INSIDER Summary:

In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average. There are a lot of questions when you first begin dating someone, but one of the biggest is when exactly you should take the plunge and sleep together. Although this will vary with every couple, a new study gives some insight into how long most people wait — and it might be longer than you think. The survey, conducted by Groupon, asked 2,000 adults about dating habits and found that, on average, eights dates was deemed the "acceptable" amount of time to wait before having sex with a new partner. This blasts past the old cliché of waiting three dates before getting intimate. This varied across genders, too. The average person who identified as a man was cool with waiting five dates, but the average person who identified as a woman leaned more towards waiting nine dates. But it's not just sex that people wait for. Most participants told researchers that they wait until the second date before having their first kiss. Only 17% of participants said that if it goes well that they "always" kiss on a first date. But the good news, at least if you're a millennial, is that you may be waiting a little less time to see if there will be a second date. Millenials surveyed said that they followed up within 48 hours to set up a second date, while older participants said that they waited three days on average. Obviously, this survey is far from conclusive — everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to physical intimacy. But this is a good reminder than any good relationship can and should move at a speed you're comfortable with, all you have to do is talk about it.

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mindbodygreen.com - 16 Green Flags To Look For In A New Relationship, From A Dating Coach

Pay attention if your partner really puts in effort to hear and understand you. If they ask thoughtful questions, make space for you in the conversation, and seek to get to know your inner world well, those are all big green flags. Active listening is a necessity for relationships to last in the long term. "When used in close relationships, active listening can foster an even deeper level of emotional intimacy," licensed marriage and family therapist Tiana Leeds, M.A., LMFT, recently told mbg. "Essentially, it provides the speaker with the space and attunement to be able to be vulnerable, which can enhance relationships both in times of peace as well as conflict." It's inevitable that couples will disagree and unintentionally hurt each other from time to time, and being able to listen well and really make an effort to understand your partner's perspective is key to healthy conflict resolution. So, a date who shows the ability to listen well early on is not only showing that they're going to take the time to understand you deeply; they're also showing that they'll be able to hear you out in moments of conflict and really try to understand your side of the story.

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