Infatuation Rules
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When should you give up on a failing relationship?

If you're constantly fighting and seem unable to resolve conflict, that could be a sign of when to leave a relationship. While you can learn how to avoid arguments, you may not be able to fix deeper problems that a lack of communication indicates.

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Even when we recognize the signs to leave a relationship, it can still be difficult to work up the courage to give up your sense of connection, significance and certainty. You’ll need to dig deep and focus on yourself, your decisions and your ultimate happiness. That’s what’s most important in life. The desire for a healthy, passionate relationship is part of the human experience. Connection is one of the ten gifts of life : the gifts that give our lives purpose and meaning. It’s also one of the Six Human Needs , which drive every decision we make. Connection is vital to life – and that’s what can make it so hard to know when to leave a relationship.

How to know when to leave a relationship

It isn’t always clear when to leave a relationship. How do you know if your partnership can be fixed, or is beyond repair? Of course, emotional and physical abuse are always signs to leave a relationship. But if you’re not sure, the signs may be more subtle.

You no longer communicate

Communication is crucial in every relationship, but especially romantic ones. Communication problems are one of the top three causes of marriage failure in America. If you’re constantly fighting and seem unable to resolve conflict, that could be a sign of when to leave a relationship. While you can learn how to avoid arguments, you may not be able to fix deeper problems that a lack of communication indicates.

You don’t feel valued

Relationships are places that we go to give, not places that we go to take. If both partners are giving equally, the relationship will work. But if your partner takes you for granted or doesn’t respect you, that means trouble. Sometimes this is a result of relationship stressors that can be fixed. If you feel deeply that your partner no longer values you, it could be time to leave.

The passion is gone

Tony teaches that there are Six Stages of a Relationship. Number one is a passionate, intimate and electric connection. That connection is a result of your polarity with your partner. If you’re not feeling that anymore – and you don’t have the desire to fix the situation – that’s one of the biggest signs to leave a relationship. But if you do want to regain your polarity, don’t give up yet. It’s often possible to reignite the passion.

You don’t want to fix it

The key to how to know when to leave a relationship is your desire to fix it: if you’re willing to put in the work, it’s possible to create a fulfilling relationship. But if you’re planning your escape, which is stage four of the Six Stages of a Relationship, it’s time to move on. If you’re contemplating life without your partner, you’re past the point of wanting – or being able – to fix the relationship. Find the courage to leave.

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How long should a temporary breakup last?

Most fights dissolve within a couple of days. Some breakups last for a couple of weeks. If the breakup is prolonged there is increasing likelihood for the relationship to fall apart. It usually pays off in the long run to be able to make the first step and approach your loved one with a plan for reconciliation.

During a break up, once the initial anger has passed, it is important to focus on the positive aspects your relationship. This will give you a better perspective and will help you salvage your bond. What happens is that negative memories will fade away with time and the positive ones will remain. If you concentrate on the negative after the fight, the temporary breakup will become permanent. After a fight it helps to remember the things that your partner does for you. Since what you do for your partner is more readily available for your memory, you tend to think that you actually do more for your partner than your partner does for you. At the same time your partner probably thinks the same because he or she remembers only what he/she did for you and not what you did for them. It sometimes happens that one person initiates the process of making up more often than the other. It is a good idea to try and alternate the turn of making the first step to reconciliation. If a woman is usually the one who starts talking, it is a good idea for a man to initiate more often.

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