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When have you been ghosted?

"Ghosting is based on one simple thing: communication," Douglas says. "If you have been talking to anyone—friend, potential mate, whatever—and they suddenly stop responding to your messages without any warning or cause as well as ignoring you, you may have been ghosted."

mindbodygreen.com - The 4 Next Steps When You Think Someone Is Ghosting You

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It feels awful to be ignored, whether the person is a close friend or a new interesting somebody you were just starting to vibe with. But if you're having an overwhelming amount of bad feelings around the prospect of being ghosted, it's important to pause and tune into what specific emotions you're experiencing around this. Are you desperately trying not to lose a connection you really value or were really excited by? Or is this about a fear of rejection and feeling unlovable?

"Remember that your difficult emotions are a signal, a teacher with an important message," psychologist Danielle Dowling, Psy.D., writes at mbg. Notice where your anxiety is coming from and what insights you can glean about yourself: Perhaps your level of investment in this particular person's rejection tells you that you really do want a long-term relationship and should invest more time in your dating life. Or perhaps the degree to which you're judging yourself for this rejection is a sign that you have more work to do around self-esteem and self-love. Once you've collected that information about yourself, it's time to let go of the weight this situation is having on you—because it's really not about you. "Taking rejection personally is often a subconscious defense mechanism. It puts you in control," relationship counselor Margaret Paul, Ph.D., writes at mbg. "The belief is 'If it's my fault, then maybe I can change, and then this won't happen again. If I can just figure out what I did wrong, then I can fix myself.'" But Paul points out that in most cases, the person who got ghosted usually didn't do anything wrong. The situation, in reality, is totally out of your control. Monica Berg, spiritual teacher and author of Fear Is Not an Option, says ghosting has so little to do with you and so much to do with the other person's communication issues that it isn't really worth getting torn up about it—in fact, you might as well celebrate. "The ghost is doing you a big favor," she writes at mbg. "You're getting a firsthand look at how this person, who just days ago was so marvelous, actually handles their emotions, your emotions, and difficult circumstances in general. 'Runs away at any sign of conflict' typically doesn't make anyone's list of dream qualities in a partner, and you got to see that clearly and up front—not years down the road."

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Are people who cheat selfish?

An infidelity is often a selfish act, and its motivation has everything to do with the person who's cheating. We rounded up some common reasons why experts say people cheat.

insider.com - 8 surprising reasons why people cheat - Insider

Infidelity is painful — not just for the wronged party, but also for the cheater. Stepping out on your partner can lead to fear, guilt, anxiety, and, if it leads to divorce, financial ruin. And getting cheated on yourself is an ego blow that’s hard to recover from. And yet, people have cheated for millennia. According to the Institute for Family Studies, an estimated 16% of people have cheated on their spouse — and this doesn’t even account for infidelity in non-married relationships. So why do people cheat? Well, 80% of the time, it’s not because of a failing relationship, psychotherapist and relationship therapist Esther Perel said in her TED talk. An infidelity is often a selfish act, and its motivation has everything to do with the person who’s cheating.

We rounded up some common reasons why experts say people cheat.

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How do you know if he's real?

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