Infatuation Rules
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When a man is closed off emotionally?

An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don't get too close. If that's the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone.

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He will likely have some kind of awareness that he isn’t showing up in the way you’re wanting and needing. Because of this, if he says something that lands wrong or if you question something about his motive, you’ll hear a defensive response. This irritability on his end is because he’s operating with a sense of self denial (he may tell himself he doesn’t need a more emotional relationship, or he may want to be in a relationship, but not with you, and he needs to keep all the true feelings far away from himself so he doesn’t feel compelled to make changes). It’s not your job to help someone be less defensive; it’s your job to listen to his actions and energy and decide if this is healthy for you (hint: it likely is not!) Now, in healthy relationships, we all have defensiveness that can come up, and those are work-able with. However, when it’s in a relationship that is wobbly and had little emotional connection, and there is a lot of defensiveness, you want to be careful and notice that.

7. Lacking excitement, romance and growing love

Healthy, emotionally fulfilling relationships grow with time. Though the initial infatuation settles, what does grow is a feeling of excitement of being with someone who understands you, a growing romantic dynamic that comes with ease and an anchoring love and connectedness. Relationships the steady foundations to our emotional health, and when you’re in a healthy relationship, you will feel steadier. This doesn’t mean you wont have conflict, but it means that you have the capacity to move past disagreements and grow, together. Your love becomes richer and more calming to both of you, as you stay emotionally attuned and caring to one another, and to the relationship. But when you’re with someone emotionally unavailable, you won’t feel any of the warm fuzzy feelings around your heart. You may have some good feelings, but there’s a feeling of stagnation where the good isn’t growing and the love is deepening. If you notice a lack of spark and joy, don’t ignore that feeling; listen in.

8. Judgement around sharing emotions instead of vulnerability being seen as beautiful.

Relationships are all about vulnerability, trust and care. Sharing emotions is about letting someone else into our heart and giving them a chance at getting closer to us. When someone is emotionally unavailable, they are terrified of emotions. They are afraid of sharing because they likely have their own fears about opening up to someone. But since they have a fierce wall of protection, you may not get to see their feelings, but when you share yours, you will be met with a feeling of judgement. But please do know that just because he has fears about getting attached and responding to your emotional sharing, it does not mean that your feelings are bad or wrong to share. Judgement about your emotions may be a warning sign that he will either continuously shut you down emotionally, or will leave when he feels threatened emotionally. This is a toxic dynamic to stay in, so please honor your heart and find a way to leave the relationship if this dynamic is present.

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How make a girl feel miss you?

Make her feel special, tell her how pretty she is, and have an amazing time on your dates so your girl can remember you fondly when you're apart. Talk to her about her interests, compliment her, and take the time to really listen to her. Don't be afraid to tell her that you've missed her.

This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta . Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of date coaching experience, Laura specializes in dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior. She is the host of the Dating and Relationship Radio Talk Show on AM640 and on Apple Podcasts. She is also the author of "Single in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks To Love & Lifemates, Tales & Tips To Attract Your Perfect Match." This article has been viewed 1,395,950 times.

Article Summary

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To make a girl miss you when you’re not around, focus on your own hobbies and interests, so she knows that you have a life outside of your relationship. Don’t text her all the time or pick up the phone every time she calls, so she will crave you even more. However, don't go too long without contacting her, and letting her know that you miss her once in awhile. That way, she won't assume you're not interested in her anymore. You can also give her something to remind her of you when you’re not together, like a piece of jewelry, a plush toy, or a framed photo of you both. For more tips, including how to write a romantic letter to a girl to make her think of you, read on!

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