Infatuation Rules
Photo: Creation Hill
Men also tended to look at a woman's chest and hip regions if they were showing romantic interest, which Bahns noted aligns with previous research that says this is due to men's evolutionary focus on women's ability to reproduce.
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Read More »Does someone want to befriend you or date you? It can be hard to tell, but new research says that a person's eye movements could be the key to figuring it out. Researchers from Wellesley College and the University of Kansas recently published a study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior looking at what people's eye movements say about whether they want someone to be a friend or romantic partner. They used 105 heterosexual undergraduate students as subjects and tracked their eye movements while they looked at photos of men and women and answered questions about if they wanted to befriend or date each person. The study was a different look at what makes someone "attractive," according to the study's authors. "Research on attraction tends to assume there is a fixed set of characteristics that makes a person desirable. This new study shows that what people look for in a prospective relationship partner depends on their relational goals," coauthor Angela Bahns said in a press release. "The same person who makes a highly desirable friend may not make a good mate." Additionally, the study sought to look at what people focus on when their brains are rapidly assessing the types of relationships they want with others in front of them. What did researchers find? Heterosexual men and women look more at a person's head or chest if they're considering that person a potential romantic partner. Men also tended to look at a woman's chest and hip regions if they were showing romantic interest, which Bahns noted aligns with previous research that says this is due to men's evolutionary focus on women's ability to reproduce. There was a caveat, though. "When men looked at faces for a long time, they were actually less interested in a person," Bahns told Yahoo. One of the most interesting parts of the study, however, was how people's eye movements change if they want a relationship that's strictly platonic versus romantic or sexual. Researchers noticed that both men and women looked at someone's legs and feet if they were assessing if that person could be a potential friend. While the study focused on heterosexual attraction, now hopefully you can pick up on a few cues the next time you're unsure how someone feels about you.
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Read More »Romantic conversation starters for couples: What initially made you interested in me? How did you know you were in love with me? Is there anything about our relationship that feels totally unique to us? Where do you see our relationship going? What does marriage mean to you? How do you feel about big proposals? More items... •
Kelly Gonsalves is a multi-certified sex educator and relationship coach helping people figure out how to create dating and sex lives that actually feel good — more open, more optimistic, and more pleasurable. In addition to working with individuals in her private practice, Kelly serves as the Sex & Relationships Editor at mindbodygreen. She has a degree in journalism from Northwestern University, and she’s been trained and certified by leading sex and relationship institutions such as The Gottman Institute and Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, among others. Her work has been featured at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. With her warm, playful approach to coaching and facilitation, Kelly creates refreshingly candid spaces for processing and healing challenges around dating, sexuality, identity, body image, and relationships. She’s particularly enthusiastic about helping softhearted women get re-energized around the dating experience and find joy in the process of connecting with others. She believes relationships should be easy—and that, with room for self-reflection and the right toolkit, they can be. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves.com/newsletter
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