Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Karolina Grabowska
Emotional abusers tend to believe they are "owed" by everyone and thus everyone (including their victim) should give them what they want. This makes them feel entitled to give orders, control, and abuse in order to get what they want.
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Read More »When someone pictures an emotionally abusive man or woman, they often picture some sort of caricature. They might picture someone of a lower socioeconomic status, a blue collar worker or an uptight housewife. No matter what picture of an emotionally abusive person you have in your head, you are wrong because emotionally abusive men and women run the gamut and no group of people is immune. In fact, if a group of people were to sit in a room, drinking coffee, you would have no way of pointing out which were the emotionally abusive men and women. There are no outward signs of an emotionally abusive person. There may even be no signs when interacting with them, as abusers tend to be able to turn their abusive behavior on and off when convenient.
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Self-Esteem Issues Where physical intimacy is lacking, this can cause self-esteem problems. If your partner shows no interest in you physically,...
Read More »Low self-esteem – some abusers abuse others to make themselves feel good about themselves, although some people feel that the opposite is true in many cases. – some abusers abuse others to make themselves feel good about themselves, although some people feel that the opposite is true in many cases. Rush into relationships – some abusers enter relationships and claim "love at first sight" very quickly, perhaps fearing being alone. (Read about: Dynamics of Emotional Abuse in Relationships, Marriage) – some abusers enter relationships and claim "love at first sight" very quickly, perhaps fearing being alone. (Read about: Dynamics of Emotional Abuse in Relationships, Marriage) Extreme jealousy – an abuser may see jealousy as a sign of love rather than possessiveness. – an abuser may see jealousy as a sign of love rather than possessiveness. Having unrealistic expectations or demands – an abuser will demand that the victim be the perfect spouse, lover, and friend and fill every need, even when this isn't reasonable or healthy. – an abuser will demand that the victim be the perfect spouse, lover, and friend and fill every need, even when this isn't reasonable or healthy. Create isolation – an abuser will work to cut off ties to the victim to keep the victim completely centered on the abuser. – an abuser will work to cut off ties to the victim to keep the victim completely centered on the abuser. Use of force during sex – acting out scenarios where the victim is helpless may be part of their sex life. – acting out scenarios where the victim is helpless may be part of their sex life. Use drinking to cope with stress – alcohol doesn't cause the abusive behaviors but abusers have a higher-than-average rate of alcohol abuse – alcohol doesn't cause the abusive behaviors but abusers have a higher-than-average rate of alcohol abuse Have poor communication skills – abusers may have trouble with open conversations about their feelings so they abuse instead. – abusers may have trouble with open conversations about their feelings so they abuse instead. Are hypersensitive – abusers often take the slightest action as a personal attack. – abusers often take the slightest action as a personal attack. Appear charming to others – abusers tend to hide all their abusive behaviors in other scenarios so that the victim is the only one that sees their abusive side making it very difficult for the victim to reach out for help (Information about Emotional Abuse Help). And although emotionally abusive people set out to purposefully hurt victims, they often minimize their role and blame the victim for the abuse. "She made me do it," or "he should have known not to talk to me when I was in that kind of mood." Abusers often claim they have no control over their abusive behaviors.
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