Infatuation Rules
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What to text when he ignores you?

If he is not responding to your text, simply say that you are sorry if you said something wrong and then ask if he is ready to talk or to ping you once he is. This dialogue comes into play if you have done something wrong or you know what you last said or wrote may have hurt his feelings.

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There are moments when you feel cold, left alone, unnoticed especially when everything had been going all smooth until now. It can be very frustrating when the man you are seeing is not responding to your texts all of a sudden and you are checking your phone again and again. You keep wondering what to do next, what to write etc. So here are some text messages that you can send him especially if you feel you are being ghosted.There are instances when you feel the guy is ignoring you but in reality, you realise that he was just going through a bad time. So before presuming the worst, it is best to first ask and let him know that you are there for him if he wants to talk and that you won’t judge. A reassuring message should be your first step.This text message breaks down the hardest stones sometimes because this is all they want for someone to say to them. In a patriarchal society, men have been conditioned not to show their weakness or express their fears and worries. But in texts, today people have become a tad bit more expressive. So try to send this message first.If he has not been talking to you for a while and neither have you been, presuming that your busy lives have taken over, break ice and text him whatever fun news or piece of info you have for him. You will be amazed at the quick response for sure.A sorry never makes you a smaller person. If he is not responding to your text, simply say that you are sorry if you said something wrong and then ask if he is ready to talk or to ping you once he is. This dialogue comes into play if you have done something wrong or you know what you last said or wrote may have hurt his feelings.Read also: Learn how to see AURAS using this simple guide Read also: Bedroom scenarios Indian couples face in joint families

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How long should the silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

How to address silent treatment behaviour in your relationship

So, what do you do if you or your partner uses the silent treatment in a not-so-acceptable way?

1. Identify it as an issue

Talk about how the silent treatment is a coping and recovery strategy that needs to be worked on, and then work on it.

2. Know your trigger and name it

Before you ‘go silent,’ tell your partner, “I feel overwhelmed and need some time to recover.” This way the receiver knows what has happened. Agree how long you will take to recover – ideally less than 1 hour. Communicate that you will be back in a specified amount of time to continue the discussion, even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being or take the matter to counselling. Make sure you do come back when you say you will, to foster trust and certainty and so the receiver is not left in the lurch.

3. Use the time apart to both calm down

Don’t recite what has happened and spend the time plotting how you’re going to start the argument back up again. Instead cool off and work out what you can say when you come back that is useful to the relationship. For example, “what happened for me then was…” or “I reacted but am calm now and have worked out…”

4. Seek professional help

If you have identified a repetitive pattern of this happening, then it might be time to seek professional assistance for more strategies around conflict resolution.

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