Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Nicolas
9 Texts To Send Someone After A One-Night Stand If You Want To See Them Again Last night was fun. ... Last night was beyond hot. ... You did [*insert thing in bed here*] so good. ... You took me on quite a ride last night. ... You were so impressive last night. ... We should do that again. ... I thought about the other night all day. More items... •
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Read More »When it comes to reaching out to someone after a one-night stand, figuring out what to say if you want to do it again without worrying that your text conveys the right tone can be tricky. One of the harder parts about deciding what texts to send someone after a one-night stand is that, regardless of what type of relationship you're looking for, it's normal to worry about coming on too strong, or, on the contrary, not seeming interested enough. Where's the balance?! It's confusing, but if your goal is to keep keep hooking up, no strings attached, fret not. There's a way to express that very desire without using too many words. Considering you and your one-night stand have likely already been very intimate together, there probably isn't much you can say that would be "too much" — at least not sexually. But you still don't know them very well, considering they were a one-night stand. (Unless it was a one-night stand with someone you're friends with. In that case, approach with even more caution.) Either way, make sure your text reflects your intentions. You don't want to ask them for drinks and dinner when really, all you want to do is have a horizontal grownup party. In theory, honesty seems simple, but it's often easier said than done. So if you want to hookup again, consider one of these nine texts. 01 Last night was fun. We should do it again some time. Giphy Straight and to the point. No games. 02 Last night was beyond hot. Giphy Similar to the text above, this text speaks to the great time you had, without being too obvious about wanting to do it again. It's most effective if you want to remain slightly mysterious about seeing them again. 03 You did [*insert thing in bed here*] so good. Do it again, tonight? Giphy Adding a little description that tells them exactly what you liked can stroke their ego a bit, which is good if you want to be stroking something else later. 04 You took me on quite a ride last night. Giphy This text is another good one for feeding your one-night stand's ego. Everyone loves to be told what they do well, and hook up buddies are no different. 05 You were so impressive last night. I'll give you a standing ovation if you do it again. Giphy Not only does this tell your one-night stand just how great of a time you had, but it also gives them a flirtatious promise, which could give them yet another reason to want to do it again. 06 We should do that again. And again. And again. Giphy No need to beat around the bush here. 07 I thought about the other night all day. Can we make that happen again soon? Giphy What better compliment than letting someone know they were on your mind all day long? Tell your hookup you couldn't stop thinking about them (brownie points if you're extra specific), and start planning round two. 08 I just happened to be in the neighborhood. You busy? Giphy OK, honestly you're probably not "just in the neighborhood," but whatever. You're taking matters into your own hands, here. If you just can't wait to see them again and you're willing to travel, shoot them this text.
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Read More »People might have their own private theories about it, but a new study1 published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy has identified three specific factors that make women more likely to have more sexual desire for a partner: intimacy, "celebrated otherness," and "object-of-desire affirmation."
This term refers to the ability to appreciate your partner as separate and different from yourself. When you have a sense of personal autonomy in your relationship—as opposed to a feeling of "fusion" or total unity—you're able to see your partner as something exciting and attractive because they're something you still don't fully understand or have. A 2010 study2 by psychologists Dr. Karen Sims and Dr. Marta Meana suggested this distance between two people can trigger sexual desire. "The link between separateness and the construct of desire is evident in theoretical views that describe desire as a wish for something one does not have, or for something that is currently unattainable," Prekatsounaki and her team write. "In this line of thinking, separateness is beneficial to sexual desire; desire can be sharpened by withdrawal or abstinence and be stimulated by fantasy, hope, and promise. Related prerequisites for desire are identified by [psychotherapist Esther] Perel. In her view, desire thrives in 'otherness,' defined as the space between the self and the other that allows for the unknown, novel and unexpected, for surprise and risk." Importantly, the researchers view this specific kind of otherness as separate from the kind involved in unrequited love or other potentially alienating scenarios. "We use this term to refer to couple interactions where otherness between partners is explicitly maintained; not only recognized and accepted but also positively valued, cultivated, and built upon," they explain. "We conceptualize celebrated otherness as relationship experiences that emphasize, at the same time, partners' autonomy and investment in each other. As such, celebrated otherness is an antithesis to fusion, but not to intimacy."
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