Infatuation Rules
Photo: David McElwee
If you and your partner both feel comfortable doing more, go for it! Pay attention to body language. ... Gradually increase the intensity. ... Make eye contact between, or even during, kisses. ... Take a break from their lips. ... If you're going to bite, be gentle.
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Read More »Kissing can be enjoyable or, at times, awkward. It’s best to ask for consent and pay attention to your partner’s body language to learn what they like. We all start somewhere Let’s get real: Kissing can be totally awesome or super cringeworthy. Without a doubt, a great kiss or make-out session can leave you feeling pretty darn amazing. Science even suggests kissing can actually be great for your health. A small 2009 study found that kissing can even reduce perceived stress. Of course, it must be admitted that some kisses just aren’t great. If you’ve had a few of those yourself, remembering them might make the idea of swapping spit with another human seem a little less than ideal. Wondering where you fall on the kissing spectrum? No need to worry — these 26 tips and tricks can help improve your lip game. Make sure you’re prepared before the moment comes We can’t always control when the mood for a kiss strikes, but a little preparation can go a long way. If you know that kissing might be on the agenda, for example, you might want to skip the garlic bread and onions at dinner. It also helps to: Make sure your lips aren’t dry or cracked. Regular lip scrubs, especially during the winter, can help you avoid chapped and peeling lips.
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Read More »Once you’ve got the basics down, you’re ready to make your move Kissing doesn’t have to be stressful. If you’re worried about getting it right, always start with the basics. Always ask If you’re about to kiss someone for the first time, make sure you’re reading the situation correctly by asking verbally. From there, you can set the moment with your body language — moving in a bit closer, cupping their cheek — or use both words and actions. Consent isn’t just important. It can also be pretty sexy. Lean in Feeling a little nervous? Don’t rush it, especially if you aren’t sure which way to tilt your head. Dip your head — or gently guide your partner’s face to the side — if you’re worried about banging foreheads. You don’t need to stare them down, but a little bit of eye contact can help make the initial movement less awkward. Ease into it Start the kiss out simply, with slow, gentle, and light pressure. Want to continue the kiss? To build it up and lengthen it, try varying pressure slightly. You can also shift your focus from their top lip to their bottom lip. Remember: A little pressure goes a long way. Keep your mouth relaxed Try not to force your pucker or kiss too hard. When in doubt, mirror what your partner is doing, since most people tend to kiss in a way they enjoy. Think of a good kiss as an exchange, not one person running the show. Use your hands Hand placement can feel a little awkward at first, but do what feels most comfortable for you. Try slipping your hands around your partner’s neck, using one to stroke their hair, or moving one hand to each place. If there’s a height difference, you can always rest your hands on your partner’s hips or lower back (but don’t overthink it). If you want to move from a closed-mouth to an open-mouth kiss Once you’re ready to kick it up a notch or two, these tips can help you transition from closed-mouth to open-mouth kissing with practically zero effort. Start with the tip of the tongue Less is more, especially when it comes to anything tongue-related. Most people don’t enjoy saliva all over their face. Try briefly and gently touching the tip of your tongue to theirs. Definitely don’t try shoving your entire tongue into their mouth An unexpected tongue in your mouth isn’t just a ticket to a drool fest. It’s also pretty unsexy — and sometimes, you might end up getting bitten. Find a natural rhythm Make sure to breathe (obviously), and find what feels good for both you and your partner. Not quite sure if they’re ready for a break or want to keep going? It never hurts to ask. If you want a full-on make-out sesh Depending on the situation, it doesn’t take much for kissing to get pretty heated. If you and your partner both feel comfortable doing more, go for it! Pay attention to body language Physical cues — moving closer, pulling away — can tell you more about what your partner likes and doesn’t like. Not everyone uses verbal cues, especially when their lips are otherwise occupied. That means you can learn more about what is (and isn’t) working by paying close attention to your partner. Don’t drive the kissing party to where it only benefits you. The best kiss is one where both partners are happy. Gradually increase the intensity There’s no need to go full steam ahead into a heavy make-out session. At the same time, you may not want to drag a single kiss out too long. Gradually build up the kiss into something more. Don’t be afraid to use your body language to tell your partner what you like and don’t like. Communication, even nonverbal, is key. Make eye contact between, or even during, kisses It’s pretty common to kiss with your eyes closed, but you don’t necessarily need to keep them closed the entire time. Don’t be afraid to sneak a peek at your partner between kisses. If you do make eye contact mid-kiss, it’s better to keep it short unless you know your partner prefers intense eye contact. Take a break from their lips As the kiss is heating up, don’t be afraid to switch up locations. A good kiss might involve a series of kisses along their jawline, collarbone, or even on their earlobe. If you’re going to bite, be gentle Not everyone is comfortable with teeth during a kiss, so it’s generally best to stick to a gentle tug on the lips. Anything more than that might be worth a conversation to touch base on what you both feel comfortable with. Whatever the kiss, feedback is crucial Communication is a key factor in every kiss. It helps you understand your partner (and vice versa), so you can enjoy kissing in a way that’s pleasurable for everyone involved. While you can give feedback during a kiss either verbally or nonverbally, you can gently give or receive feedback afterward by saying things like: I really liked when you did…
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