Infatuation Rules
Photo by Allan Mas Pexels Logo Photo: Allan Mas

What personality is most attractive to men?

While those qualities certainly don't hurt, it turns out the most alluring thing about a person is a bit different. According to recent research, kindness is the number one most attractive trait people look for in a partner.

What does it mean to guard your heart above all else?
What does it mean to guard your heart above all else?

It's really quite simple. If what we do flows from our heart—our inner and true self. If our heart believes what is not right, or not true, or not...

Read More »
What does it mean Romans 8 35 39?
What does it mean Romans 8 35 39?

Romans 8:35-39 teaches that it is impossible for the believer to be separated from Christ and his love. Nothing can stop Christ's love or separate...

Read More »

What makes a man attractive? Is it rock-hard abs? Financial security? A sense of humor? While those qualities certainly don’t hurt, it turns out the most alluring thing about a person is a bit different. According to recent research, kindness is the number one most attractive trait people look for in a partner. Read on to learn more.

Compassion is the No. 1 most attractive trait

The most attractive men all share one essential trait that contributes to their appeal: being compassionate people. There have been a number of studies and surveys completed over the years that confirm this. They indicate that people generally rate others as more desirable when they personify compassionate traits like kindness, altruism, empathy, supportiveness, and mindfulness. One 2013 study found that being selfless increased the desirability of both men and women as long-term partners. Even for short-term flings, altruism increased men’s attractiveness—though to a lesser extent than when those same men were considered as long-term partners. Another study found that people are often attracted to others whom they perceive as supportive, loving, and secure. More recent research confirms that kindness is a top priority for those looking for a long-term partner. In a study published in the Journal of Personality, researchers asked more than 2,700 college students from around the world to build their ideal lifelong partner by using a fixed budget to buy characteristics. Participants were given eight different traits they could spend their budget on, including physical attractiveness, kindness, creativity, and more. The students spent around a quarter of their budgets (22-26%) on kindness. Another 2019 survey, the Ideal Partner Survey, sought to find out what women really look for in a partner. Sixty-four thousand women of different ages, sexual orientations, and home countries participated in this survey. Despite their different backgrounds, 88.9% of women agreed that kindness was a very important trait in a long-term mate. Other essential qualities included supportiveness, intelligence, education, and confidence.

Why is kindness so valued in a partner?

Kindness, compassion, and empathy are essential to forming deep connections with other people. In fact, this trait was key to our survival as a species; humans’ ability to form long-term social bonds contributed greatly to our evolution and success as a group. We’re seemingly hardwired to be drawn to compassionate people. All anybody wants is to be loved, understood, and surrounded by those who make them feel this way. It shouldn’t be surprising that these are the qualities that people look for most in a partner. And yet, with our society’s obsession with appearance and wealth, it seems a revolutionary concept that kindness is so powerful. Contrary to popular belief, nice guys do finish first—at least in matters of the heart. Attractive men and compassionate men are one and the same. So next time you’re crafting your Tinder bio, drop the bad boy routine and instead focus on what makes you a kind and caring person. You’ll thank us later.

Editors' Recommendations

What does it mean if a guy avoids looking at you?
What does it mean if a guy avoids looking at you?

There are so many reasons why he is avoiding eye contact with you. It could be because he is shy, doesn't know that you want to make eye contact,...

Read More »
Does making out count as kissing?
Does making out count as kissing?

Making out is a term of American origin dating back to at least 1949, and is used to refer to kissing, including extended French kissing or heavy...

Read More »

Where do you touch a man to make him feel loved?

There are two spots here that are primed for pleasure. Just like his jawline, the top of your guy's forearm is extra sensitive because of the nerve-packed hair follicles, Kerner says. And the smooth underside of his arm is jammed with tense muscles just begging for a release.

4 of 4

girl touching guys butt

We mean really low — like, right above his crack. "This area is typically neglected because men are so sensitive about their butt, but it's really responsive to a firm, sexy massage," Kerner explains. Working the muscles there will feel slightly taboo to him (which is why it's so hot), and enables you to get rid of a tension-induced stiffness so he can move his hips more freely later on. TOUCH IT: Put his mind at ease by reassuring him that you're just going to massage his muscles, not do anything crazy, Keesling recommends. Then straddle his legs while he's lying on his stomach and treat him to a rubdown, starting at the bottom of his lower back and heading south to the top of his tailbone. Place the heels of your hands on either side of his spine, and stroke firmly outward toward his sides. Move your hands down an inch and repeat until you're halfway down his butt, then move slowly back up.

How long does it take to rebuild broken trust?
How long does it take to rebuild broken trust?

Rebuilding trust takes a significant amount of time and patience. It might take us several months or even years to fully be able to trust our loved...

Read More »
What does Romans 12 2 3 mean?
What does Romans 12 2 3 mean?

Meaning. Are you living your best life? Shifting your patterns and focus can change your life. That's what this verse is about—renewing your mind,...

Read More »
What are the 3 keys to a relationship?
What are the 3 keys to a relationship?

All healthy relationships share the following three core components: Mutual respect. Mutual trust. Mutual affection.

Read More »
What are the 5 things you need in a relationship?
What are the 5 things you need in a relationship?

Whether you've been in a relationship before or this is your first, here are a few things that are essential for a healthy relationship. 1: Open...

Read More »