Infatuation Rules
Photo: Joseph Redfield
Control freaks are often perfectionists. They may manipulate or pressure others to change so as to avoid having to change themselves. Control freaks sometimes have similarities to codependents, in the sense that the latters' fear of abandonment leads to attempts to control those they are dependent on.
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Read More »Resolving arguments in a healthy way Establish boundaries. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, even during an argument. ... Find the real issue. Arguments tend to happen when one partner's wants or needs aren't being met. ... Agree to disagree. ... Compromise when possible. ... Consider it all.
While conflict is normal, it can also bring out the parts of your relationship that aren’t working. If your conflict is based on decisions like which movie to see, who to hang out with, or who should do the dishes, use these tips to help resolve arguments in a healthy way: Establish boundaries Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, even during an argument. If your partner swears at you, calls you names, or ridicules you, tell them to stop. If they don’t, walk away and tell you that you don’t want to continue arguing right now. Find the real issue Arguments tend to happen when one partner’s wants or needs aren’t being met. Try to get to the real issue behind your argument. It’s possible that you or your partner are feeling insecure or like you aren’t being treated respectfully, and are expressing those feelings through arguments over other things. Learn to talk about the real issue so you can avoid constant fighting that obscures the heart of the problem. Agree to disagree If you and your partner can’t resolve an issue, sometimes it’s best to just drop it. You can’t agree on everything and it’s important to focus on what matters. If the issue is too important to drop and you can’t agree to disagree, it may be a sign that you’re not compatible. Compromise when possible Compromise is a major part of conflict resolution and any successful relationship, but it can be hard to actually achieve. Take turns making decisions about things like what to eat for dinner, or find a middle ground that allows you both to feel satisfied with the outcome.
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