Infatuation Rules
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What percentage of couples stay together after one cheats?

How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.

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How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair?

In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.1 How unfaithfulness is displayed by men and women can differ, too–men lean more toward acts of sexual infidelity and pornography use, while women may be more likely to engage in emotional infidelity. Nevertheless, cheating can occur in a relationship for any number of reasons. What was the quality of the marriage prior to the infidelity? Was the infidelity a pattern, or a one-time affair? Either way, studies suggest that some couples may be more likely to stay together, as compared to others. When looking at the percentage of couples that recovery after cheating, we see that: Relationships that were strong prior to the affair recover more fully after infidelity. Married couples stay together at a higher percentage than unmarried couples. Couples with children are more likely to continue the relationship following a betrayal.

When Infidelity Happens in Your Relationship

Going through infidelity is an incredibly stressful and painful experience, both for the person who cheated and for the betrayed partner. This disrupts harmony and affection in the relationship, and usually contributes to hurt, distress, anger, sadness. This is why each partner needs healing and recovery to move forward in a healthy way.

When You’re Cheated On

It may be that prior to being in this situation, you promised yourself that if your partner ever cheated, you’d cut them off forever. Then it happened, and you realized that things are much more nuanced than that. You may feel stigma from friends and family who push you to leave your partner. People may say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. You may even feel shame for staying.

When You Cheat

You will probably experience a full range of emotions after cheating–shame, embarrassment, guilt, among others. You may see yourself differently now, and this change in self-image can be hard to manage. You also may become frustrated with the intensity of your partner’s reactions. It’s a difficult time to work on a relationship, and you may struggle with acknowledging the pain you’ve caused.

Why Do Couples Decide to Stay Together After Infidelity?

There are many factors that contribute to couples staying together. Partners may have children that motivate them to work on the relationship. Financial challenges may also influence a couple, as they may feel like they can’t afford to split up. Additionally, there may be judgment expressed from family, friends, or the couple’s faith community related to divorce.

When considering how to move forward after infidelity, people may:

Develop hope that their love will enable them to overcome the infidelity Feel that they can make some changes for the good of the relationship Feel optimistic that their partner can learn and grow from this experience See remorse from the cheating partner, and feel empathy for them See this as an opportunity to grow through this painful experience Experience deeper and more meaningful communication

How Do Relationships Change After Infidelity?

When a couple decides to stay together after an affair, things are bound to be different. Sometimes, things remain tense for a very long time, with accusations becoming part of the new pattern. The most ideal outcome is that the couple seeks help, communicates openly and honestly with one another, and can heal their sexual and emotional relationship. Therapy is a powerful method to help facilitate the process of healing.3

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Do you love a person if you cheat on them?

No, cheating doesn't mean your love wasn't real. Whether you believe that someone can love their partner in the moment of infidelity or not, it's difficult to argue that there was never any love in a relationship just because someone cheated. People fall in and out of love all the time.

People who cheat often claim that they really loved (or still love) the person they cheated on. But can that possibly be true? Love is complicated to begin with, and infidelity doesn’t make it any easier to find the bottom line here. As a result, a lot of this will boil down to your personal beliefs. If you’re trying to explore the relationship between love and infidelity, we’re here to help you out. Just keep in mind that no matter what has happened to you, your feelings are valid, you are worthy of love, and you can come back from whatever dark place you may be in right now.

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