Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Leeloo Thefirst
He's generous with food. ... He'll pamper himself with you. ... He usually doesn't freak out, even when you think he will. ... He fawns over your naked body. ... He remembers things big and small. ... He stares at you. ... He fills his family in on the details of your life. ... He'll tell you as much.
How to Calm Yourself Down When You're Crushing Hard Honor your feelings. Don't judge yourself. Remind yourself what you're really looking for in a...
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Read More »You know when you're in that can't-think-about-anything-else phase of love. But what about him? Is he there too?! (you ask yourself whenever you're not thinking about how cute his butt looks in his boxers or picturing him in the crowd while you thank the Academy. What? The point of a fantasy is that it doesn't have to be true to life). Obviously all men are individuals and go about things in different ways, but here are a few common signs he's just as head over heels as you are. He's generous with food. If he gives you the last bite of his chocolate mousse cake or offers to switch entrees with you because you like his more, he's basically doing the foodie version of proposing. Same goes for you. One of the first moments I first realized I was in love with my boyfriend was when I said he could have the gooey bits at the bottom of the gelato pint. I was thrilled when he didn't take me up on it, but the offer was still genuine. He'll pamper himself with you. Would he normally be caught dead with an exfoliating charcoal mask on, luxuriating while he sipped on cucumber water? No. But does he try it out with you when you're having a spa night because he wants to be a part of whatever makes you so happy? Hell yes. He usually doesn't freak out, even when you think he will. When you 'fess up to an embarrassing secret from your past or blurt out that your kids would have lovely eyes, he won't nuclear-level freak out. Even if something does make him do a mental double take, he'll express it in a kind way because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. He fawns over your naked body. He thinks you are the hottest woman in the world. Stretch marks? He could not care less, truly? Cellulite? He's too busy grabbing at you with a flattering erection to notice. His love for you translates into thinking you're a goddess in the bedroom, so go ahead and believe him. He remembers things big and small. He'll make you cry tears of happiness because he plans a huge birthday surprise, of course, but he'll also remember your favorite wine in case of emergencies (like when you've had a tough day at work or your entire family is driving you mad). He stares at you. A lot. You know that googly-eyed look guys get when they watch you do something simple, like lace up your sneakers for a run or explain why The Walking Dead has the best zombie effects known to man? It's basically the inspiration for the heart-eyed emoji. Guys definitely get it when you're all dressed up for a fancy date night, but when he's seriously in love with you, he'll be overcome with wonder at you doing smaller things too. He fills his family in on the details of your life. They'll know that you just landed the corner office or went on a BFF trip to Belize before you have the chance to tell them. This translates to him being proud of you, which is pretty adorable.
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Read More »The good news is that, once you fall out of love, you can begin the satisfying work of learning how to sustain real love, which in a healthy marriage or long-term partnership, grows over time. (And yes, you can even get that crush feeling on your spouse again with time.)
You might think it's because they realize they're not right for each other or because they argue too much or aren't having enough sex or have feelings for someone else. These can be challenging issues in a relationship, but none of these are the main reason people fall out of love. The No. 1 reason people fall out of love is because they're human. Yes. We are designed to fall out of love. And then, if the relationship is healthy and both people understand what real love is about, we fall back in love, deeper than before. And then we fall out of love and back in love. You get the picture. Falling in and out love is as cyclical as the tides of the ocean. The problem generally arises when, at the first sign of falling out of love, someone jumps ship.
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