Infatuation Rules
Photo by Ena Marinkovic Pexels Logo Photo: Ena Marinkovic

What makes someone dull?

Boring people are predictable. They use too many tired cliches. They agree too readily and too often, and they rarely express any strong opinions of their own. Bores can sometimes be overly-solicitous—they appear too nice, always complimenting others over and over again.

What are green flags in a person?
What are green flags in a person?

“Green flags are positive indicators that a connection has the potential to flourish into a safe, healthy, lasting relationship,” Shanita Brown,...

Read More »
What is the purest act of love?
What is the purest act of love?

The purest form of love is selflessness. Jul 23, 2016

Read More »

We’ve all known people who are charismatic: They seem to light up the room when they walk in. And, when you interact with them, you come away feeling good and energized. On the flip side are people who are bores: They suck the life out of the room, their conversation is tedious, and you can’t wait to get away from them.

Here are 5 signs of a boring person.

Negativity. Nothing is more boring than a person who always sees the negative side of things—a person who complains constantly. Every time you try to bring up something positive (“Don’t you just love amusement parks?”), the bore complains about it (“too crowded, expensive, dirty…”). Superficial. The bore doesn’t engage in deep conversation. Instead, the boring person talks too much about unimportant things (e.g., the weather), or repeats the same things over and over. It’s impossible to make any sort of real “connection” with someone like that. Impassive. Unexpressive, speaks in a monotone, doesn’t make eye contact, seems completely disengaged—this is a sure sign of a bore. Self-centered. Boring persons talk too much about themselves and show little interest in others. The self-centered bore holds the floor too long, is long-winded, and when telling a story takes forever to make a point. Predictable. Boring people are predictable. They use too many tired cliches. They agree too readily and too often, and they rarely express any strong opinions of their own. Bores can sometimes be overly-solicitous—they appear too nice, always complimenting others over and over again. So, is a bore hopelessly sentenced to a life of exclusion and loneliness? Of course not. Any bore can turn it around by developing better conversational skills—becoming a better listener, learning how to take turns effectively and not dominate a conversation, preparing stimulating topics or stories beforehand. In short, becoming a bit more charismatic. My friend and former colleague, the late Bernie Carducci, wrote a book called: The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk: How to Talk to Anyone Anytime Anywhere About Anything. He suggests that anyone can develop the ability to be a more interesting conversationalist—to develop, as Bernie says, "the gift of gab." To read one of his papers on the art of making small talk, click here.

See more on active listening and the dynamics and “how-to” of charisma.

Facebook image: Mix Tape/Shutterstock

How to make a man happy?
How to make a man happy?

Compliment him. ... Tell him you appreciate what he does for you and your family. ... Make time for things to get hot in the bedroom. ... Be...

Read More »
Where do the most attractive people live?
Where do the most attractive people live?

Ever wonder where the most attractive men and women live in the United States? ... Based on Clover's data, the cities with the most attractive...

Read More »

Did Adam and Eve go to heaven?
Did Adam and Eve go to heaven?

After all, they disobeyed God's command to not eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge. God is the One who decides who does or does not enter...

Read More »
How many partners has the average man had?
How many partners has the average man had?

When it comes to number of partners, our female respondents averaged seven sexual partners during their lifetimes, while men averaged 6.4....

Read More »
What is a woman's greatest fear?
What is a woman's greatest fear?

Women fear everyday life scenarios more than men and are more likely to express "great fear" of certain scenarios like sexual assault, physical...

Read More »
How guys fall in love?
How guys fall in love?

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman. Dec 12, 2022

Read More »