Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Dagmara Dombrovska
That's what these date ideas have in common: They're relaxing and romantic in a way a 43-page wine list will never be. Take a sunset walk. ... Have an evening picnic at the public pool. ... Go to a baseball game. ... Send the kids on a sleepover and stay home. ... Visit a neighborhood you don't live in. More items... •
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Read More »When most people picture date night, they think of meals at little French bistros where you hold hands tenderly across a candlelit table and stare deeply into each other's eyes. You laugh and drink wine, and on the off chance you run out of things to talk about, it's okay, because you can just fall back into the cavernous, emotional well of excessive eye contact. We've been led to believe this is what date night should look like by Hollywood, TV, and the French bistro lobby. In reality, date night is a relationship pressure cooker for men. Even if we know the difference between a profiterole and pâté (not guaranteed), we work up a sweat trying to be "on" when really what we want is some time off, with you. That's what these date ideas have in common: They're relaxing and romantic in a way a 43-page wine list will never be. Take a sunset walk. Fair warning—your guy is not going to seem into this when you suggest it. He'll be lying on the couch watching SportsCenter with his pants off, and he'll mutter that it's too hot out. But you must get him out for that walk. My wife, Karel, sometimes bribes me with ice cream or (and) beer. You see, guys are like dogs: They may seem perfectly content to lie around the airconditioned house, but they actually need to get outside for some fresh air and a chance to stretch their legs. If they don't, they do the human male equivalent of dogs tearing up couch cushions, which is complaining about politics and writing horrible things in the comments section of Internet stories.
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Read More »Send the kids on a sleepover and stay home. It's so simple. When was the last time you sent all the children in your house away for an evening? Sure, it's logistically tricky. You might have to call in favors from neighborhood parents or family members. But it will totally be worth it. You don't have to decide who is drinking and who is driving, you don't have to dress up, you don't have to deal with crowds. All you have to do is appreciate a house that contains only two adults. Your home is suddenly transformed into a hotel room with an all-access minibar and your favorite pillow. Visit a neighborhood you don't live in. This is a habit I picked up when Karel and I lived in New York City. You have to walk all the time there, so you play "What if we lived here?" You look in people's windows (everyone in New York is used to this), then you talk about how you'd change the living room and ultimately discuss what you like about what you already have or what you want for your future. Who doesn't love a game that combines voyeurism with real estate prospecting and home improvement? That said, know your location: If you're in Texas cattle country and a stranger with a rifle sees you peeking in his window, he might not be interested in how you're spicing up your marriage by talking about his floor plan. Play a low-impact lawn sport together. Badminton is a surprisingly satisfying game; it's got something to do with the sound of the birdie thwacking racket strings. Croquet is good too, if you both can avoid getting all Heathers about it. Then there are games where you have to work together (Hacky Sack, Frisbee); they help you communicate, cooperate, and avoid kicking each other in the face. Also, interacting physically outside is pretty conducive to interacting physically inside later. Blood flow and all that.
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Read More »Find an outdoor festival. Say you want to go to something called the Cottonwood Arts Festival, but you're worried your dude will complain. Here's a tip: Every outdoor fair worth going to has a stand selling sugary fried dough, meat on a stick, and a regional variation of the sausage-and-pepper sandwich. If your guy is like me, he will be excited to go to any gathering if you mention these summer delicacies. Find the stands selling the food as soon as you get there. He can eat while you look at fruitwood salad bowls, and in order to not get separated in the throng of people, you'll end up holding hands. Everyone will go home satisfied.
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