Infatuation Rules
Photo: Sarah Chai
Ms. A rare occurrence of “Ms.” in 1885 suggests that the term is an abbreviation of “Miss.” Ever since “Ms.” emerged as a marriage-neutral alternative to “Miss” and “Mrs.” in the 1970s, linguists have been trying to trace the origins of this new honorific.
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Read More »What is needed is a more comprehensive term which does homage to the sex without expressing any views as to their domestic situation, and what could be simpler or more logical that the retention of what the two doubtful terms [Miss and Mrs.] have in common. The abbreviation “Ms.” is simple. It is easy to write, and the person concerned can translate it properly according to circumstances. For oral use it might be rendered as “Mizz,” which would be a close parallel to the practice long universal in many bucolic regions, where a slurred Mis’ does duty for Miss and Mrs. alike. A few years later, speaking at the feminist conference “Breaking into the Human Race,” held at the People’s Institute at Cooper Union on Feb. 20, 1914, the suffragist Fola La Follette recommends Miss as a general title for women both before and after marriage. La Follette gives no abbreviated form to accompany Miss, but her proposal may feed into later mentions of Ms.: Miss La Follette urged the abandonment also of the title “Mrs.,” saying it was unnecessary to label spinster and matron; that if a woman was single or married or had children or none, husband or none, was her concern and no one else’s. Society didn’t ask a man first of all whether he was married and had children or not; and what was good for the gander was good for the goose, she asserted. “If Miss is the form of address for women before marriage,” she said, “let it be so after marriage, too. Let the term acquire a larger social significance. When women keep their own name, a woman will not have to explain her children by wearing the name of a perfectly good legitimate husband who’s at home.” (New York Times, Feb. 21, 1941). Still another form, M’s, is discussed as a useful alternative to Miss, with no feminism attached, in a letter from M. J. Birshtein to the New York Times in 1932: Birshtein’s concern that M’s could make a single woman overly conscious of her “bachelor girl” status only makes sense if the form is pronounced “Miss.” He assumes that readers of the Times will already be familiar with M’s, and he implies that the question of its appropriateness is already being debated in business-writing circles, though it doesn’t appear again until the the late 1940s, where it takes the form Ms. Unfortunately, the Times didn’t print any answers that it might have received to Birshtein’s query, and discussion of a marriage-neutral honorific goes underground for almost twenty years. Ms. resurfaced briefly in 1949, in Mario Pei’s popular Story of Language. Pei may be referring obliquely to La Follette’s 1914 proposal for marriage-neutral Miss, or to other similar proposals, as he instructs readers to pronounce Ms. as “Miss,” for which it stands:
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Read More »Feminists, who object to the distinction between Mrs. and Miss . . . have often proposed that the two present-day titles be merged into a single one, “Miss,” (to be written “Ms.”), with a plural “Misses” (written “Mss.”), even at the cost of confusion with the abbreviation for “manuscripts.” Ms. appears again in the 1950s, enjoying a brief vogue in business writing textbooks. But it didn’t really make much headway till the 1970s—Ms. Magazine begins publishing in 1971—and the stylistically conservative New York Times didn’t O.K. the form as “fit to print” until 1986. By the 1970s, Ms. had also acquired the pronunciation “Mizz,” further distancing the form from Miss. But now that Ms. has become an established honorific, its use today is as jumbled and vexed as the use of Mistress, Mrs., and Miss had been before it. In keeping with its 1970s relaunch, Ms. is still an alternative to the conventional Miss/Mrs. pair, but it’s also widely used by single women, not to mask their marital status in the same way that Mr. renders a man’s marital state invisible, but instead as a trendy alternative to Miss, regarded by some Ms.-adopters not as sexist but as old-fashioned. Ms. has replaced Miss for the growing number of English speakers who are pairing Ms. with Mrs. to signal unmarried/married much like the Miss/Mrs. pair it was supposed to replace. Ms. hasn’t failed in its political goals. Instead, it has become complicated, like a lot of our usage. In one sense the title Ms. has simply returned to the way things were back in Ms. Sarah Spooner’s day, where it could signal a lot or a little, and in another sense it’s a totally modern way of referring to half the population. Today Ms. functions as a title both for married and for unmarried women, a form chosen by feminists and non-feminists alike, though surely for different reasons. This confusion of usage simply continues the long tradition of women’s titles indicating, masking, or ignoring age or marital status, providing proof that while language planners can consciously put a logical, “preferred,” or politically-motivated form into play, language users will either adopt or ignore those recommendations, or adjust them in unforeseen ways. Instead of following prescriptions, we twist them, invent our own expressions, or reshape existing ones, all to fit our ever-changing contexts and needs.
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