Infatuation Rules
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What is the most toxic behavior in a relationship?

They're hypercritical of each other. “In a toxic relationship, there's a chronic tone of criticism and tension. Partners feel as though they can never please the other. They describe 'walking on eggshells' to stave off the criticism. This is a learned behavior from a person's family of origin.

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6. They both have anxiety about where they stand in the relationship.

“People who have high degrees of attachment anxiety can be susceptible to toxic relationships. Anxiously attached people may be preoccupied with whether their partner loves them or will leave them. This is a perfect breeding ground for arguments to arise over trust and jealousy. People who are anxious in relationships often stay in those unhealthy relationships and exacerbate their problems by being clingy and demanding.” ― Land

7. They don’t have each other’s backs.

“One reason people pair off is to make life a little easier. It’s great to have someone there for you when times are tough. Relationships are unwittingly tested in difficult times. Offering support at the right moment deepens a couple’s bond. In toxic relationships, however, partners don’t have each other’s backs; they don’t step up to help at the right moment. This creates a marital culture of disappointment, loneliness and eventually bitterness. Partners brace themselves against the pain of being let down again and again. Eventually, they withdraw and stop hoping.” ― Kennan

8. One or both partners has low self-esteem.

“Plenty of confident, well-adjusted individuals find themselves in toxic relationships. But when a person is treated poorly, their self-esteem takes a hit and they can find themselves in a relationship where they’re willing to put up with more than they should. Having low self-esteem to start with makes one even more vulnerable; you may not recognize initially that you deserve more than a partner who is mean or overly critical.” ― Land

9. They try to control each other’s actions.

“Relationships in which partners attempt to control the other are joyless and toxic. One of the rewards of adulthood is freedom to choose how one behaves. In a marriage, spouses need to be able to trust the good common sense of each other. When they don’t have that confidence (and sometimes even when they do), spouses make great efforts to control the other’s behavior. Instead of controlling each other, partners should learn how to influence each other and negotiate for what they want.” ― Kennan

10. They play the blame game.

“Conflicts that are always your partner’s fault make fertile ground for feeling frustrated and stuck. When responsibility for difficulty isn’t shared and your partner is always at fault, there’s going to be resentment. Waiting for your partner to change, and criticizing him for not doing it fast enough, is a toxic place to be. If you find that your partner is the problem more often than not, your relationship may be heading for trouble.” ― Clarke

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What is the 7 date rule?

The rule suggests the younger person in a relationship should be older than half the older person's age plus seven years in order for the relationship to be socially acceptable. For example, the youngest a 26-year-old person should date is 20. The beginnings of the rule are murky.

Olivia Krauth

You know that pop culture-driven, potentially made-up standard rule for determining how young you can date?

Turns out, Texans actually follow it.

Out of the nearly 2 million Texas marriage licenses filed from 2004 to 2014, only 588 marriages didn’t abide by the half-your-age-plus-seven rule. The rule suggests the younger person in a relationship should be older than half the older person’s age plus seven years in order for the relationship to be socially acceptable. For example, the youngest a 26-year-old person should date is 20. The beginnings of the rule are murky. Wikipedia’s brief section on the rule cites French author Max O’Rell’s 1901 work “Her Royal Highness Woman” as the first written mention of the rule, but that’s Wikipedia. I first heard about it from Andy Dwyer - Chris Pratt’s character on “Parks and Recreation” - when he was determining whether April Ludgate was in his age range. We checked - Pratt and Anna Faris met the rule. While the number of marriage licenses grew over 10 years, the number of rule-breaking marriages stayed stable. 2014 saw a sharp drop in rule-breakers, going from .03 percent of all marriages in 2013 to the even smaller amount of .002 percent in 2014. Marriages where the husband was older were definitely more likely to break the rule throughout the decade. Out of the 588 marriages, 534 of them were situations where the husband was older. Wives were older in only 54 of the cases.

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