What is the ideal lover seducer?

3. The Ideal Lover. The Ideal Lover comes to us from our childhood dreams, or rather our lost dreams. They are the ones that bring a hopeless fantasy to life with their ability to mirror the ideals we once had as innocent happy-go-lucky children, but have lost to grey world.

aarondanielfilms.com - The 9 Archetypal Lovers: Seduction by Robert Greene summary

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The following article draws lessons from

Robert Greene’s book, The Art of Seduction

[Author part of the top 10 books for couples]

I want you to think back to your childhood.

Think about your happiest moments. Who were you with? Who was taking care of you? What were they all doing?

Friends and family. How did they treat you?

"They treated me well enough and affectionately" is your probable response.

But this is subjective.

Our adolescent days were when we forged our model for love and affection. It's when we added meaning to the words "love" and "affection". Whatever we felt as children set the bar for how we want to be treated as adult. For example, our mother/caregivers took care of us to the best of their ability, shielding us from as many pains and struggles that life has to give.

Sound about right?

What that means is that we have a tendency to find an adult relationship with the same dynamics.

But isn't that a good thing? I made it through childhood with that kind of affection. Shouldn't I keep that definition of love?

No, not necessarily.

How we act as children is just that - childish. We can't let ourselves plateau and stagnate our maturity levels with those of elementary or highschool students. As we age, as we grow in responsibility and capability, we mustn't cling to our child-like tendencies for affection.

And to continue the above example, as we continue to look for partners who care for "us to the best of their ability, shielding us from as many pains and struggles that life has to give", we may continually look for people who take over our lives. There are negatives to every positive trait, and some in this example could include: overbearing control, micromanagement behaviours, patronizing comments, a grandiose self-image, arrogance and ego. Is this something you're willing to live with or can even handle?

To combat this, I want you to really understand your definition of love. Your feelings and byproducts and symptoms and associations and images of love. There are 7.4 billion definitions of love on this planet, and to really make the most of this life, you really just need to understand 1. And to do this, let's look at the 9 types of people that seduce us with these feelings.

The 9 Types Of People We're Attracted To

The Siren

The Rake

The Ideal Lover

The Dandy

The Natural

The Coquette

The Charmer

The Charismatic

The Star

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What causes a boring personality?

Boring people can't see things from other people's perspectives. "Boring people are usually those who can't (or won't) understand how the conversation is experienced from the other person's perspective," says Drew Austin. "The ability to place oneself in another person's shoes makes someone interesting to talk to."

businessinsider.com - 16 habits, hobbies and jobs that make you extremely boring

Everyone has the potential to be interesting — and boring.

Common qualities of extremely boring individuals include poor improv and storytelling skills.

Boring people enjoy watching TV, work with numbers and also tend to lack original opinions. Top editors give you the stories you want — delivered right to your inbox each weekday. Loading Something is loading. Thanks for signing up! Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. download the app Email address By clicking ‘Sign up’, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider as well as other partner offers and accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy In one recent study, people told researchers they'd have to be paid to spend time with a boring person.

Don't let this be you.

Putting together academic research and crowdsourced responses from a classic Quora thread, Insider has identified 16 classics traits, the hobbies and jobs held by boring people.

Mike Nudelman and Drake Baer contributed to earlier versions of this article.

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