Infatuation Rules
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What is the 6 second kiss?

Lengthening kisses to six seconds could be a key to a better relationship. Dr. John Gottman says it's long enough to make a moment of connection with our partner. It stops the busyness in your brain and puts your focus on your partner at that moment. Kissing can be a good exercise in mindfulness.

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How long do you share a kiss with your partner? You’ve probably never timed it before. Try setting your phone’s stopwatch to six seconds. Does it feel longer than you thought?

Quick kisses vs mindful kisses

Most kisses shared may be short and sweet. Perhaps you are running off to work, in the middle of cooking, or about to go to sleep. Lengthening kisses to six seconds could be a key to a better relationship. Dr. John Gottman says it’s long enough to make a moment of connection with our partner. It stops the busyness in your brain and puts your focus on your partner at that moment. Kissing can be a good exercise in mindfulness. There are a lot of Gottman principles we recommend using on a daily basis with your partners. I think the six second kiss is the easiest. There doesn’t have to be talking, listening, or problem-solving. It’s just a time to connect with your partner physically and feel close to them. It also accomplishes a lot of principles and needs in our relationship in only six seconds.

What the six second kiss can do for you

Here are some things a six second kiss can do:

Final thought

The more you practice an elongated kiss, it can also become a habit. A six second kiss is one of the least time-consuming ways to improve things with your partner. In fact, if you have two kisses per day the total time per week amounts to less than 90 seconds. So, keep kissing. It has the potential to benefit the overall health of your relationship. More than 1 million monthly readers look to The Gottman Relationship Blog for proven advice from mental health professionals to build happy and lasting relationships. Subscribe below to receive our blog articles in your inbox every week.

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What are jealous behaviors?

Signs that you might be jealous are: You don't trust your partner when you're not together. You get concerned when they mention other people. You constantly check their social media to see what they're doing. You think they're cheating on you.

You may have heard people describe someone as “green with envy.” This phrase dates back to the ancient Greeks, who believed jealousy could trigger bile production and turn skin slightly green, a sign of sickness. Jealousy is sometimes referred to as “a green-eyed monster.” It was Shakespeare’s character Iago that first muttered the phrase in Othello. Although many people use the words “jealousy” and “envy” interchangeably, there is a difference between them. What is that difference, and how can you tell if you or someone you know is experiencing them? Learn the differences and steps to take if you’re in a situation around jealousy or envy. What Is Jealousy and Envy? Envy is wanting what someone else has. You might see a neighbor with a new car or a coworker get a new job and desire the same. You might feel a sense of resentment toward the individual for attaining something you want but have yet to achieve. Jealousy is more about holding onto something you already have. You might experience jealousy in a relationship when you perceive a threat or worry that the relationship is changing in a negative way. While these emotions are easy to define and often easy to recognize, they can be difficult to control.

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