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What is the 24 hour rule for relationships?

The 24 Hour Rule is a simple and effective method for saving relationships, particularly when you are tempted to act out of high emotion: When emotion is high, don't let words fly. Stop! Give it 24 Hours before you act.

dougspeaks.com - 24 Hour Rule Will Change Your Relationships - Doug Speaks

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The next 24 Hours could save your relationships.

I wrote a scathing text back to a good friend of mine and was ready to push send. You see, we were meeting for lunch and I had moved two meetings and a coaching client to meet with him. Five minutes before our lunch meeting, I got a text that said, “Hey dude, sorry I won’t be able to meet with you today, apologies. Another time?” I was silently livid, How could he so nonchalantly blow me off like that–not to mention all the blood, sweat, and tears I had put into meeting him (ok a little overly dramatic). How dare he!!! I am sure you have experienced something similar. I was “so” ready to push “send” and lay a claim on some level of revenge to my rude friend. Then that little voice said, “Don’t send it! Slow down! Remember the 24 Hour Rule. Slow down!” I listened to that little voice and didn’t send it. I am so glad I didn’t. Why? Because it would have caused damage to our friendship and created drama that neither of us needed.

Text is never a good venue for communicating when emotion is involved.

Sure, there is a time, place, and emotional centered state for a loving and direct conversation for situations like this. This text was none of these. The 24 Hour Rule is a simple and effective method for saving relationships, particularly when you are tempted to act out of high emotion:

When emotion is high, don’t let words fly. Stop!

Give it 24 Hours before you act.

When we act on impulse we are acting from the limbic system in the brain–the part responsible for “fight, flight, or freeze.” The goal is to slow down, breath, and allow the rational part of the brain to fire up. Here is the rest of the story. When I settled down, I called him and we were able to talk through what had happened in a calm, rational way. That is the emotionally healthy way to handle these situations.

Invitation:

The next time you are “irked” by someone, instead of shooting off an emotionally charged text, give yourself 24 hours and then call them to talk through things in a calm, rational way. You will preserve your relationship and improve your verbal communication skills.

Keep looking up and looking forward,

Doug Nielsen

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How do you fix relationship problems?

Problem-solving strategies: Be consistent. Be on time. Do what you say you will do. Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others. Be fair, even in an argument. Be sensitive to the other's feelings. ... Call when you say you will. Call to say you'll be home late. More items... •

webmd.com - 7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them - WebMD

Relationship Problem: Trust

Trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others?

Problem-solving strategies:

You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips, Fay says.

Be consistent.

Be on time.

Do what you say you will do.

Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others.

Be fair, even in an argument.

Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.

Call when you say you will.

Call to say you'll be home late.

Carry your fair share of the workload.

Don't overreact when things go wrong.

Never say things you can't take back.

Don't dig up old wounds.

Respect your partner's boundaries.

Don’t be jealous.

Be a good listener.

Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, Sherman says you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether. First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. "Ask for what you need directly," she says. Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in.

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