What is relationship burnout?

Relationship burnout refers to someone detaching or disconnecting from a partner for a variety of reasons. Over time, someone may subconsciously or deliberately distancing themselves due to feelings of negativity and apathy regarding the relationship.

choosingtherapy.com - Relationship Burnout: Signs, Causes & How to Overcome

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Reasons for Burnout in Your Relationship

Relationship burnout may occur for any number of factors and reasons. It can be due to differing personalities, incessant arguing, or mutual frustration. Additionally, one partner may feel that they are putting forth more effort than the other, resulting in a sense of imbalance. Regardless, these problems can lead to an utter disconnect within a couple.

Some reasons someone may be experiencing burnout in their relationship include:4

They don’t feel valued by their partner

They have a type A personality

They are constantly chronically stressed

They grow apart from their partner

They feel a loss of independence

Lack of communication in their relationship

Other responsibilities are more important

Incompatible personalities

External stressors, such as finances

7 Tips to Overcome Relationship Burnout

Experiencing relationship burnout doesn’t necessarily mean that a relationship has to come to an end. When two people are committed to one another, there are a number of methods they can utilize to help bring life back to their partnership.

Here are 7 tips to help you overcome burnout within your relationship:

1. Be Honest About Your Needs

Expressing your emotional and physical needs in a relationship is critical. Being honest about how you’re feeling and what your expectations are will allow you to build trust with one another and encourage open communication. While it can be easier to gloss over unwanted emotions, sharing them with your partner might help ensure that there is no “bad blood” between you that can eventually impact your relationship. Hurtful words are impossible to take back, so being open with your partner is necessary.

2. Set Aside Time to Spend With Each Other

A person can become easily disconnected from their partner when they don’t make their relationship a priority. Before giving up on your relationship, try making a commitment to spending more time with your partner. Try taking turns planning date nights, grocery shopping together, or dedicating 10 minutes a day to simply reconnect.

3. Learn Each Other’s Love Language

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Couples who have differing love languages may struggle when it comes to effective communication. For example, a person whose love language is “acts of service” may feel unappreciated by their partner, because their efforts are not reciprocated. Understanding each other’s love language can help restore the connection between partners.5

4. Take a Break

Sometimes, taking a break from each other can be beneficial. Spending too much time with a partner can make a person feel claustrophobic within a relationship. For some, independence is a crucial part of their self-identity and can easily be lost in a tight-knit romantic partnership. Allowing you or your partner to take some personal time for self-reflection and relaxation can allow you to rejuvenate lost emotional energy.

5. Show Gratitude

Concentrating on the negative aspects of a relationship is not healthy. When someone gets in the habit of doing so, they can become hyper-focused on nitpicking trivial issues and problems. It can be constructive to shift your perspective to one that celebrates the positives as they come. Expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does can help you see that your relationship is worthwhile after all.

6. Give Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt

Try giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. Always assuming that their actions and words are intended to harm you will only lead to further distress. Remind yourself of the good things they’ve done for you or the relationship. When was the last time they intentionally acted out of spite to cause you misfortune? If no occurrence comes to mind, then you shouldn’t automatically presume that they’re out to get you.

7. Practice Self-Care

Burnout impacts every aspect of your life, not just your relationships. Chronic stress can leave you feeling entirely worn out and defeated. For this reason, practicing self-care is extremely important. Prioritize maintaining a healthy sleep, exercise, and diet routine to limit excessive stressors. Self-care is not selfish. In reality, it allows you to be your best self and, in return, a better partner.

When to Seek Couples Counseling

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Marriage & Couples Counseling can help you and your partner improve communication, reconnect with each other, and recognize your shared values. You shouldn’t wait until your relationship is in serious trouble before seeking help. Couples counseling can be beneficial, but it is far more effective when implemented in the early stages of conflict. You can find a therapist that matches your needs from an online directory.

When to Break Up

Sadly, some relationships are not meant to stand the test of time, but that’s okay! When couples find that they are stuck in an endless loop of arguments and burnout, it may be time to part ways amicably. Certain differences cannot always be overlooked, and if the relationship is causing you more pain than it’s worth, you should consider severing ties. Toxic relationships will often lead to further emotional turmoil, so sometimes moving on is the only healthy option.

Final Thoughts

Relationship burnout can seem debilitating at times, and can have a serious impact on the individuals in the relationship. It is important to recognize the signs of relationship burnout and address them sooner rather than later. When both partners are committed to making the effort to take care of both themselves and the relationship, true healing can transpire. However, it is also important to remind yourself that not every partnership is “the one”. Allow yourself the mobility to leave if you feel stuck in a cycle of burnout and exhaustion.

choosingtherapy.com - Relationship Burnout: Signs, Causes & How to Overcome

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