Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Anna Shvets
“We all know someone who is friendly, easily talks to anyone, and has a way of leaving an interaction with the other person feeling extra good about themselves — this is an example of innocent flirtation,” Kotlarski indicates. “It is really about the intent behind the interaction.”
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Read More »“For some, flirting is infidelity. For others, [cheating is] exclusively sexual acts. For others still, [infidelity is] any emotional closeness that should be reserved for a primary partner or significant other,” says Jeanae Hopgood , a licensed marriage and family therapist from Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania. “Ultimately, couples need to discuss the rules and boundaries for their specific relationship to avoid crossing lines.” Openly talking about your and your partner’s expectations and your willingness to honor those is a healthy way of getting on the same page and establishing if flirting is cheating or if it gets too close to it for comfort. Every relationship is different. What may upset you or your partner, may not be the same that upsets someone else. While there may be undeniable moments when flirting crosses a line, mutual consent, clarity in your relationship, and underlying intent can all be important factors when deciding if flirting is infidelity. Some of these cues may be subconscious, and some may be intentional. So, how do you determine: “Is flirting cheating, or isn’t it?” When you’re attracted to someone, flirting is a way of communicating that interest through subtle (or not-so-subtle) cues. You may tilt your head to one side, slightly change the tone of your voice, or adjust your posture, for example. Flirting is acting on attraction from a distance and trying to establish some type of connection with someone else. It can be considered emotional and mental cheating. Hopgood explains infidelity is extremely subjective, and each couple must define those behaviors that won’t be tolerated. In general, cheating is acting behind your partner’s back or against their expectations or mutual promises. In many cases, flirting is cheating when your partner doesn’t approve or your actions can go against the relationship or your partner. If you’re in a committed romantic relationship, you can choose love. Opting to avoid doing the things you know will hurt your partner is a way of doing this.
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