Infatuation Rules
Photo: Angela Roma
Essentially, the bare minimum is one step above nothing. They put in minimum investment in the relationship and to their partner, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you.
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Read More »8 Ways To Save Your Relationship When It's Falling Apart Don't make any rash decisions. Get brutally honest. Seek therapy. Understand how you're contributing to the problem. Focus on healing yourself. Recognize your partner's pain. Spend some time reflecting on the good. Say "thank you" more often.
This is separate from just recognizing your own contribution to your relationship's troubled waters. This is about recognizing the inner work you have left to do on yourself. "Many people who leave are no happier than they were in the relationship," Paul says. "If you have been making your partner responsible for your feelings and you are blaming your partner for your unhappiness, then it likely isn't time to leave. You have your own inner work to do." Oftentimes, many of the problems that emerge in our lives are directly related to underlying mental or emotional struggles we ourselves have been dealing with all along, Paul says: "If you ignore your feelings, judge yourself, turn to various addictions to numb your feelings, or make your partner responsible for your feelings of worth and safety, then you are rejecting and abandoning yourself, and you have inner work to do to learn to love yourself. People tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves, so focus on how you are treating yourself rather than how your partner is treating you."
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