Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Anna Tarazevich
Researchers asked participants to rate emotional and physical pain of a breakup and found that women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. While breakups hit women the hardest, they tend to recover more fully.
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Read More »Women experience more emotional pain following a breakup, but they also more fully recover, according to new research from Binghamton University. Researchers from Binghamton University and University College London asked 5,705 participants in 96 countries to rate the emotional and physical pain of a breakup on a scale of one (none) to 10 (unbearable). They found that women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. Women averaged 6.84 in terms of emotional anguish versus 6.58 in men. In terms of physical pain, women averaged 4.21 versus men's 3.75. While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger. Men, on the other hand, never full recover -- they simply move on. According to Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study, the differences boil down to biology. Women have more to lose by dating the wrong person. "Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than a man," Morris said. "A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy followed by many years of lactation for an ancestral woman, while the man may have 'left the scene' literally minutes after the encounter, with no further biological investment. It is this 'risk' of higher biological investment that, over evolutionary time, has made women choosier about selecting a high-quality mate. Hence, the loss of a relationship with a high-quality mate 'hurts' more for a woman." Conversely, as men have evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a high-quality mate for a man may not "hurt" as much at first, Morris said. "The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it 'sinks in' that he must 'start competing' all over again to replace what he has lost -- or worse still, come to the realization that the loss is irreplaceable," he said. Morris said that breakups are important because most of us will experience an average of three by age 30, with at least one affecting us strongly enough that it substantially decreases our quality of life for weeks or months. "People lose jobs, students withdraw from classes, and individuals can initiate extremely self-destructive behavior patterns following a breakup," he said. "With better understanding of this emotional and physical response to a breakup -- Post Relationship Grief -- we can perhaps develop a way to mitigate its effects in already high-risk individuals."
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Read More »Read on to understand the seven most common kinds of toxic friendships and how to fix them. THE COMPETITOR. THE FLAKE. THE USER. THE CONTROLLER. THE BAD INFLUENCE. THE JOKESTER. THE TWO-FACE. Ask for what you need. Always use “I” statements (“I feel hurt when you make fun of me in front of my crush”). More items...
Your best friend is the first person you look for at school in the morning and the last person you text at night. You wear each other’s socks and finish each other’s sentences. But lately, after a day of hanging out, you feel drained, not sustained. Maybe your friend won’t let you make a single decision for yourself. Maybe their favorite activity is running other people down. Or maybe you just don’t like who you are around them. Sound familiar? Then you might be in a toxic friendship. “Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health. But despite wreaking havoc on your mind, body, and spirit, toxic friendships can be tough to spot. That’s because most start out strong—why else would you become friends in the first place? The good news is, we can help you diagnose an unhealthy bond before it becomes a full-blown sickness. Read on to understand the seven most common kinds of toxic friendships and how to fix them.
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