Infatuation Rules
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What happens when you give him space?

It might sound paradoxical, but taking some time apart can help both partners fully commit to the relationship when they get back together. Often, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and giving some elbow room can help put everything in perspective. It is important to spend time with yourself.

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We all need our space sometimes. When we fall in love, it sometimes feels like we have to spend every waking hour together. But the truth is that we all need alone time, and it’s not uncommon for a person in a relationship to say they are needing space and time for other parts of their life. We Understand Giving Him Space Can Be Difficult We're Here To Support You - Get Connected With A Licensed Relationship Counselor. If you are wondering, "Does my partner need space or is it over?" you might get a wide variety of relationship advice, but having an honest conversation with your significant other is the best way to know how the person is feeling and why they are wanting space. If your partner says they are needing space, it might be a most awful feeling for you. You are used to spending time together, and if the other person says they need more space, you might feel like your relationship is ending. One way to deal with these strong feelings is by talking to a relationship coach through online therapy. However, many times when a partner needs space, it can be a good thing for the relationship. It can help the person gain perspective, deal with their emotions, or achieve the strength to recommit to the relationship. When a partner needs a little space, it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over. When you give someone space, you give them the opportunity to figure things out, or to have time for other interests that make them feel positive, or for self-discovery. Taking a short relationship break can be a good solution for keeping the partnership fresh and alive. There may be times where you will have to ask for room yourself, and the way you handle your partner’s need for space will pave the way for how you get enough space when you need it. Most likely, you can have a little space and breathing room without losing one another. Listening to love advice can be stressful when your partner feels like they want to take a break. It can be hard, realizing that your beloved needs a break from being together, but by giving the person the room they need, your partner might feel appreciated and understood, and this can strengthen you in the long run. "It can be so hard to allow someone you love the space they desire to do or think about things when you want to be with them, however, we all need time to ourselves. A relationship is about two separate people coming together to enjoy each other, not taking over each other. Allowing space gives each partner an opportunity to be themselves and recharge so they can give more to the relationship." - Dr. Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPCC

Emotional vs. Physical

In a long distance relationship, it is obvious there is already plenty of physical space. Long distance relationships present their own set of challenges, and if your partner says they need space, it might be emotional space. Maybe the person feels trapped or feels pressured because you are spending time talking on the phone or texting a lot. You might be quick to assume that physical and emotional distance means the other person is losing interest and wants to end things, but that doesn’t have to be the case. If you can provide some room and stop obsessing over it, you might get a different perspective about what is going on. If you know anyone else who has been in a long distance relationship, talking to them about it might help. Relationship advice from other people’s experience can bring about new perspectives that are sometimes hard to find by yourself.

He's In A Bad Mood

Some men tend to ask for space when they are in a bad mood. Or if the person does not have the greatest communication skills, they might lashes out when you try to help, and this could be a sign that some time apart is in order. It hurts to be pushed away, no doubt, but you are better off allowing your partner some room if they are angry or in a bad mood. You’ll have your own feelings to deal with if this happens, and talking to a certified relationship coach can be helpful if your partner is angry and asking for space.

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Relationships are wonderful and should fill us with love and excitement, but they shouldn’t take over every aspect of our lives. A partner sometimes asks for room if boundaries are starting to be pushed. If you spend every day, all day, together making future plans, things can get claustrophobic for one or both people. If you cling to one another like nothing else matters, this is where giving some room, focusing on a new hobby, or hanging out with friends can help you avoid losing the connection and common ground you have.

Distancing Yourself

By taking time apart, you can remember what you enjoy doing in your free time. You may notice your boyfriend being distant, you can also do the same to give him the space he wanted. Taking some time off can help you realize it’s okay to be independent at times. Space doesn’t mean losing interest. Relationships are better when two individuals enter a relationship together. If lines start to blur and independence begins to slip, it might be time for a few days apart.

Personal Issues Can Cause Stress And A Need For Time Apart

When work or responsibilities start to overwhelm people, they might want to put their heads down and get it all done. It’s okay to want to help them and to be emotionally supportive while they are stressed. But maybe your partner doesn’t have such an easy job or time at work and needs to focus on that part of their life for a while. Sometimes the best help you can give is to allow them the room to get everything done. Your partner may tell you that they can’t hang out for a couple of days, or let you know that a busy season is approaching. If you let them know that you will miss them, that you are looking forward to having quality time together in the future, but you will be okay while they are gone, your best friend is likely to feel valued and appreciative of your patience.

It Feels Rocky

Space can also be a good thing when the relationship isn’t going very well. Maybe you and your partner still love each other madly, but you can’t seem to communicate as well as you used to. Perhaps everything is an argument, or everything they do annoys you. You want things to go back to normal, but no amount of talking is going to make that happen. All relationships have ups and downs, and taking a break usually doesn’t end things. If you feel really uneasy about a partner who needs space, and you don’t need as much space as the other person, it could be that you need to do some relationship work on your own, and talking to a counselor can help.

Give Them Time

It might sound paradoxical, but taking some time apart can help both partners fully commit to the relationship when they get back together. Often, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and giving some elbow room can help put everything in perspective. It is important to spend time with yourself. Maybe it’s hard to see what is going on when the other person is standing in front of you, but once you have the time to breathe and think, you might realize that you are jumping to conclusions or are being overly sensitive. For example, you might be worried that your partner is going to jump from your relationship to the next one, or that he’ll run off with the first woman he meets, and these might be your insecurities that have nothing to do with your partner. Don’t spend too much time worrying about the best or worst case scenario. Just take a step back. This is just one example of countless ways some room could help both partners calm down and start to think clearly.

Your Partner Is Giving Signs They Need A Break

Maybe your partner doesn’t know they need some time alone, but because of a few subtle things, it’s starting to become obvious to you. Perhaps there is a lot of complaining going on and bad moods over the tiniest things. The person seems to have one foot out the door while saying they want to be together all the time. It can help to take yourself out of the equation. Let them stay home while you spend some time with friends, or don’t call as much as you used to. Letting the other person reach out when they are ready can often improve life for both people.

Give The Person The Room They Need

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Your first instinct may be to resist giving a partner space. It might sound like the relationship’s ending. While sometimes space can lead to a partner realizing the relationship isn’t right for them anymore, that is not the case all the time. In fact, giving some room can strengthen a couple’s bond and help partners to better commit to one another.

It Is Okay If You're Scared

Still, that doesn’t mean you aren’t scared or insecure and don’t have an awful feeling when the word “space” is brought up in conversation. Express your feelings and concerns, and then establish a period for how long space will be. You might want to have a no-contact rule for a set amount of time with a few short check-ins to make sure you are both okay. However, if you do this, it’s best if you don’t contact them outside of those check-ins or unless there is an emergency or it can work against what you are trying to achieve. It’s important to take care of yourself during a break. Reevaluate the relationship and see if it’s still one you want to be in. Let the time pass, but try to be productive in your own life. Getting together with friends can help you have fun and pass the time. A relationship break is often a good time to spend time with people you don’t usually get to see like old friends and family. If you try to focus on work, going to the gym, or interests like fashion, sports, or cooking, it can make it easier while you’re apart.

Ask For Help and Support

A relationship coach can help you gain an understanding of what’s going on in your relationship. Couples counselors are used to seeing partners who have problems communicating and situations where one partner has completely pulled back from the other. A relationship expert can help a person figure things out about how to a partner who needs space some room in a healthy way. If you and your partner are having a tough time, consider seeing a licensed couple’s counselor. None of this is easy, and you shouldn’t expect it to be. Giving or taking space is a great time to start asking for help. Try seeking out supportive friends or family you can confide in and express your doubts, fears, and discoveries. Don’t let yourself go through all of it alone.

Want Professional Support? ReGain Can Help

Sometimes talking to friends isn’t enough when life is hard. Even your best friends might not be able to give you the support you need to get through the confusion and doubt that can come up when a partner needs space. ReGain is a platform that connects licensed counselors with those who need help in their relationships. We Understand Giving Him Space Can Be Difficult We're Here To Support You - Get Connected With A Licensed Relationship Counselor.

We understand giving a partner space can be difficult.

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