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What happens when a relationship ends?

On any given day, you might feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, anxious, or even relieved. When a relationship ends, many people experience a sense of loss and disappointment. It can be difficult to let go of the hopes and dreams you had for your relationship and look towards a new and uncertain future.

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After a breakup, it’s normal to experience a range of emotions as you come to terms with the fact you’re no longer a couple. There’s no right or wrong way to feel and feelings can fluctuate constantly. On any given day, you might feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, anxious, or even relieved. When a relationship ends, many people experience a sense of loss and disappointment. It can be difficult to let go of the hopes and dreams you had for your relationship and look towards a new and uncertain future. Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, or you know it was unhealthy, the fear of the unknown can be harder to bear than the unhappiness you felt in the relationship. You might start to wonder if you have made the right decision. Both of you will miss things about each other, even when there’s a new partner involved. You may remember things you loved about your ex only when the relationship is over. No matter how happy your new partner makes you, it’s OK to miss some aspects of your previous relationship. But, while the leaver and the left may share a sense of loss, these feelings are likely to be more intense if you didn’t choose to end the relationship. You may feel out of control and, in the immediate aftermath, it’s hard to minimise this feeling. Your routine has been disrupted and your life has changed.

Psychologist and psychotherapist Dr Janet Reibstein explains:

You haven’t planned for things so the chaos will be that much greater, the grief will be that much greater, and you’ll be going at a different pace. However, it’s often the emotional, rather than the practical, loss that feels most painful. Dr Reibstein recommends allowing yourself time to grieve your loss. It’s fair to say that, normally, as with a death, people go through the mourning process or readjustment and come out of it alive, and sometimes better off.

Tips for dealing with a breakup:

1. Take time out to grieve

Recognise the intense and conflicting emotions you’re feeling and accept that you won’t be at your best for a while. It’s OK to give yourself a break.

2. Remember that grief lessens with time

It might seem easier said than done, but try to remind yourself that things will get easier after a while.

3. Don’t go through it alone

Isolating yourself can make the grief harder to cope with. Call on your support networks to help you get through this difficult time. If you don’t feel you can share your feelings with family or friends, head over to our listening room and speak to one of our Click Listeners.

4. Remind yourself of the future

It may be hard to let go of the hopes and dreams you held for your past relationship, but it’s important to remember you have a new future to embark on. In time, you will have new hopes and dreams to replace the old ones.

5. Find new interests

Try to see the breakup as an opportunity for new beginnings. Take up a hobby that attracts like-minded people; get into sport and revamp your image; or use dating or social networking sites to make new friends – these things can help improve your confidence, take your mind off the breakup, and encourage you to have fun again.

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This article was co-authored by Elle Monus and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden . Elle Monus is an Image Consultant and the Co-Founder of True Image Group. With over 11 years of fashion industry experience, she specializes in holistic approaches to branding, size-inclusive image consulting, and personal styling. Additionally, Elle has had the opportunity to work on several New York Fashion Week shows and has been featured in multiple media outlets, such as Racked. This article has been viewed 229,181 times.

Article Summary

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To become a person everyone wants to know, you’ll need to learn how to be charming and likable. When you meet someone, use their name a few times so you remember it and so the person you’re speaking to knows you’ve paid attention and are interested in them. Everyone loves to hear nice things about themselves, so you can also try to fit in some sincere compliments during interactions, like “I love how sunny you always are,” or “You seem to be glowing with happiness today.” You should also focus more on listening rather than talking. Ask people questions, let them speak, and pay attention to their answers. This will make them feel important and cared for, which will make them want to be around you even more. To learn how to use your body language to attract others to you, keep reading!

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