What happens when a narcissist has a mental breakdown?

MD. Narcissistic collapse happens when someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can no longer uphold their grandiose, confident image. When this occurs, they feel profoundly threatened. As a result, they tend to become enraged, resulting in impulsive behavior, intense lashing out, or hurting other people.

choosingtherapy.com - What Is Narcissistic Collapse? - Choosing Therapy

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Causes of Narcissistic Collapse

Some research suggests that people with NPD rely on their narcissistic supply to ensure their needs get met. The narcissistic supply can consist of anyone or anything that offers a sense of validation, attention, or admiration. It may be feeling respected at work, having an expensive car, holding an important title in a charity, or raising children. But when the supply becomes jeopardized, they often feel unhinged. Someone with NPD may experience collapse when something threatens how they perceive themselves or others. These situations can range from mild inconveniences to severe disturbances. For example, a friend taking too long to respond to a text may result in collapse symptoms. Or, if someone with NPD doesn’t get the raise they were promised, they may react with immense rage. Narcissistic collapse isn’t an official psychiatric term, and it hasn’t been extensively researched. However, some researchers and psychologists who study NPD argue that collapse essentially disarms the false self associated with narcissism.2 Because people with NPD are so insecure, they often feel empty and hollow – they need admiration from others to feel validated.3

What to Expect From a Failed Narcissist

Narcissistic collapse often results in extreme, negative projection. Projection refers to attributing one’s negative traits or experiences onto someone else. It’s a defense mechanism that aims to protect one’s ego and self-concept.4 Subsequently, someone with NPD may turn their self-hatred or rage onto other people. This can look like shouting, blaming, criticizing, shaming, or smearing. At times, they may turn it inwards and become extremely depressed, anxious, or suicidal.

Example of Narcissistic Collapse in a Parent

If a parent has NPD, narcissistic collapse can occur if their children do something that challenges their core values or concept of self. This “something” can range from a child deciding they don’t want to eat a meal the parent cooked to the child dating someone that the parent doesn’t like. The collapse may resemble a serious temper-tantrum where the parent becomes explosive and then extremely depressed or withdrawn. Other times, they may threaten to estrange or cut off their children. In some cases, they will do that (although they will often spin it as if the child ended the relationship).

Example of Narcissistic Collapse in a Partner

Dating someone with NPD often feels tumultuous and chaotic. It can be hard to predict their moods or expectations. Small infractions may lead to rage. In romantic relationships, narcissistic collapse can look like suddenly ending things without warning or cause. It can also manifest as obsessing, stalking, or trying to win the other person back if their partner broke up with them. While still in the relationship, the person with NPD may oscillate between love-bombing their partner and discarding them entirely.

Example of Narcissistic Collapse in the Workplace

Having narcissistic coworkers or a boss with NPD often feels toxic and stressful. You may feel like you need to intuit how others feel or predict what will (or won’t) trigger an angry reaction. In the workplace, narcissistic collapse can also resemble a tantrum. A boss with NPD, for instance, may impulsively fire people, bully others, or make nasty threats about how they intend to give people consequences.5 Moreover, if an employee attempts to quit, they might try to sever their reputation or blackmail them into staying.

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Should I text if im being ghosted?

Overwhelmingly, all the experts we consulted recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. We know! It's hard. Sending a message is just not worth your time or energy, especially since you can't control the response.

purewow.com - What to Text After Being Ghosted - PureWow

Ghosting is a haunting phenomenon. It happens when the person you’ve recently started dating stops contacting you cold turkey. Hilary Weinstein, LCSW, of HLW Therapy, says, “When a person ‘ghosts,’ they are non-verbally communicating to you that they are not interested, or unsure at best.” Silence is a rotten way to let someone know you no longer want to date them. In fact, part of the reason ghosting is so frustrating is because there are no specifics! The person on the receiving end is left wondering if things are totally dead and if so, why?

We like to understand why things happen. When we’re ghosted, not only do we not know why, we begin thinking we’re the problem. “[Ghosting] often starts the spiral of narratives of negative self-talk, insecurities, and replaying interactions to try to guess ‘what went wrong,’ or ‘wasn’t enough,’” says Weinstein. This is why that urge to text after you’ve been ghosted is so strong. We want our control back! All these emotions—anger, fear, hurt—swirl around and we choose the only weapon available to us: our phone.

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