What happens married at First night?

In the Indian context, Suhag Raat is a significant ritual in the life of a newly married couple. It refers to the first night when the marriage is consummated. In this ritual, the bed of the couple is decorated with flowers, which are believed to bring sweetness to their relationship.

timesofindia.indiatimes.com - Suhag Raat: Is sex on the first night of marriage a consensual act?

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In the Indian context, Suhag Raat is a significant ritual in the life of a newly married couple. It refers to the first night when the marriage is consummated. In this ritual, the bed of the couple is decorated with flowers, which are believed to bring sweetness to their relationship. The female members of the bridegroom’s family guide the bride to the decorated bedroom where she waits for her husband’s arrival, with a glass of milk. When the husband comes, he takes the veil off the bride’s face and initiates consummation.However, as sweet and romantic this ritual seems to be, it might not be the same for everyone, especially the brides. In India, the ritual of Suhag Raat is one of the laying grounds for marital rape, particularly in the case of arranged marriages. Marital rape could be defined as the act of sexual intercourse with one’s spouse without his or her consent. Marital rape is not treated as a criminal offense under the Indian Penal Code. According to a global statistical report by the United Nations, only 11% of rape and sexual assault cases worldwide are ever reported. The latest report by the National Family Health Survey states, "83% of married women between the ages of 15 and 49 who have ever suffered sexual abuse cite their current husband as the perpetrator."The Indian society being “conservative” and “traditional” treats sex as taboo. There is a hype around the simple physical act that sex is. As a result of this, people feel shy talking about it. They have certain desires and fantasies in mind, but they don’t express them or consider them as a physical need. Also, men all over the world from a very young age are taught to be strong and masculine. This results in an undeveloped emotional self and insensitiveness.Most Indian men, or rather the Indian society, considers marriage as a license to indulge in sexual activity. However, these men fail to understand the most important part of the act—consent. From their childhood, men are taught to act in a particular way, which makes them fail to understand this simple, basic concept. Being insensitive towards one’s wife is a result of a society that nurtures thoughts and practices that legalize even rape inside the institution of marriage.In literal terms, “Suhaag” could be translated to “a woman whose husband is alive”. The problem lies here also. The life of an Indian woman revolves around her husband. She could embrace her womanhood only till the time her husband is alive. When she is unmarried or is a widow or divorcee, she can’t indulge in any such act. If she dares to do so, she is labeled with words ranging from slut to witch.When a society inculcates such values, how could it normalize an act of lovemaking? And when it is not done, it leads to pent up desires and fantasies, which are then unleashed on Suhag Raat. The wife, being taught to be obedient in spite of knowing that the act is happening without her consent, submits to her husband. The ritual of Suhag Raat could be considered as one of the main reasons for marital rapes in India. End number of women whether educated or uneducated, from a rural or urban background, have undergone this trauma. It is for the young generation to understand the concept of ‘CONSENT’ and it is up to the old generation to answer, was their Suhag Raat “celebrated” through consent or not?

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