Narcissistic collapse happens when someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can no longer uphold their grandiose, confident image. When this occurs, they feel profoundly threatened. As a result, they tend to become enraged, resulting in impulsive behavior, intense lashing out, or hurting other people.
Some research suggests that people with NPD rely on their narcissistic supply to ensure their needs get met. The narcissistic supply can consist of anyone or anything that offers a sense of validation, attention, or admiration. It may be feeling respected at work, having an expensive car, holding an important title in a charity, or raising children. But when the supply becomes jeopardized, they often feel unhinged.
Someone with NPD may experience collapse when something threatens how they perceive themselves or others. These situations can range from mild inconveniences to severe disturbances. For example, a friend taking too long to respond to a text may result in collapse symptoms. Or, if someone with NPD doesn’t get the raise they were promised, they may react with immense rage.
Narcissistic collapse isn’t an official psychiatric term, and it hasn’t been extensively researched. However, some researchers and psychologists who study NPD argue that collapse essentially disarms the false self associated with narcissism.2 Because people with NPD are so insecure, they often feel empty and hollow – they need admiration from others to feel validated.3
What to Expect From a Failed Narcissist
Narcissistic collapse often results in extreme, negative projection. Projection refers to attributing one’s negative traits or experiences onto someone else. It’s a defense mechanism that aims to protect one’s ego and self-concept.4
Subsequently, someone with NPD may turn their self-hatred or rage onto other people. This can look like shouting, blaming, criticizing, shaming, or smearing. At times, they may turn it inwards and become extremely depressed, anxious, or suicidal.
Example of Narcissistic Collapse in a Parent
If a parent has NPD, narcissistic collapse can occur if their children do something that challenges their core values or concept of self. This “something” can range from a child deciding they don’t want to eat a meal the parent cooked to the child dating someone that the parent doesn’t like.
The collapse may resemble a serious temper-tantrum where the parent becomes explosive and then extremely depressed or withdrawn. Other times, they may threaten to estrange or cut off their children. In some cases, they will do that (although they will often spin it as if the child ended the relationship).
Example of Narcissistic Collapse in a Partner
Dating someone with NPD often feels tumultuous and chaotic. It can be hard to predict their moods or expectations. Small infractions may lead to rage.
In romantic relationships, narcissistic collapse can look like suddenly ending things without warning or cause. It can also manifest as obsessing, stalking, or trying to win the other person back if their partner broke up with them. While still in the relationship, the person with NPD may oscillate between love-bombing their partner and discarding them entirely.
Example of Narcissistic Collapse in the Workplace
Having narcissistic coworkers or a boss with NPD often feels toxic and stressful. You may feel like you need to intuit how others feel or predict what will (or won’t) trigger an angry reaction.
In the workplace, narcissistic collapse can also resemble a tantrum. A boss with NPD, for instance, may impulsively fire people, bully others, or make nasty threats about how they intend to give people consequences.5 Moreover, if an employee attempts to quit, they might try to sever their reputation or blackmail them into staying.
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Any skin-to-skin contact will turn a guy on. Touch his cheeks, his forearms, the back of his wrists, his forehead, his bare knees, or even graze his lips with your hands.
This article was co-authored by Stefanie Safran . Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. This article has been viewed 1,553,187 times.
Article Summary
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If you want to show a guy you’re interested by touching him, start off small by gently squeezing his shoulder to show you care. You can do this to calm him down, to let him know everything’s okay, or it can just be a sign that you’re happy to see him. Another great way to show some affection is a quick pat on the back. Give him a small pat on the top of his back as a nice little “goodbye” or do it during a half-hug when you meet him to add some affection without getting too awkward. When you want to test the waters, try putting your arm around his shoulder as you walk together, as this can be interpreted as a “buddy-buddy” moment or something more. However, if he seems uncomfortable with any of your touches, back off and stick to non-physical communication to show that you respect his boundaries. For more tips, including how to touch a guy to turn him on, scroll down!
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