Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: cottonbro studio
Emotional abuse is linked to thinning of certain areas of the brain that help you manage emotions and be self-aware — especially the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe. Epigenetic changes and depression. Research from 2018 has connected childhood abuse to epigenetic brain changes that may cause depression.
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Read More »Emotional abuse is often harder to recognize than other forms of abuse, but its effects can be just as profound. Healing is possible. Emotional abuse involves a broad range of tactics, including shaming and gaslighting, which are meant to leave you feeling powerless, hopeless, and less. In some cases, the signs of emotional abuse are so subtle that you might not be sure you’re on the receiving end. Depending on the types of emotional abuse and how long you’ve been dealing with these behaviors, you might experience different effects on your emotional, physical, and mental health. Effects of emotional abuse on the brain Long-term emotional abuse can potentially impact your brain, especially if the abuse happened during childhood when the brain is still developing. These are some of the ways research suggests emotional abuse can impact your brain: Emotional understanding and empathy. Early emotional abuse could cause changes to the hippocampus that make it harder to empathize with the emotions of others. Early emotional abuse could cause changes to the hippocampus that make it harder to empathize with the emotions of others. Self-awareness. Emotional abuse is linked to thinning of certain areas of the brain that help you manage emotions and be self-aware — especially the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe. Emotional abuse is to thinning of certain areas of the brain that help you manage emotions and be self-aware — especially the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe. Epigenetic changes and depression. Research from 2018 has connected childhood abuse to epigenetic brain changes that may cause depression. Epigenetic refers to how your environment and behaviors affect your genes. In particular, the study found changes to certain genes in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which is an area of the brain that’s involved in the stress response. Effects of emotional abuse on relationships If you’ve experienced emotional abuse for a while, you might inadvertently think these behaviors are to be expected from partners, family, or friends. Chronic emotional abuse could affect how you see yourself in relationships and your tolerance toward certain behaviors. You might experience some of the following effects: Codependency. Long-term emotional abuse can make you feel as if your needs don’t matter as much as everyone else’s. This can lead to codependent behaviors or ignoring your own needs and boundaries. You might also engage in people-pleasing behaviors or tend to establish relationships with abusive partners. Long-term emotional abuse can make you feel as if your needs don’t matter as much as everyone else’s. This can lead to codependent behaviors or ignoring your own needs and boundaries. You might also engage in people-pleasing behaviors or tend to establish relationships with abusive partners. Fear of abandonment. If emotional distance was used as a manipulation tactic, you might feel high levels of stress or abandonment anxiety in your relationships. This could manifest as a behavior sometimes labeled “clinginess” that’s often rooted in a deep fear of losing your support system.
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Read More »If emotional distance was used as a manipulation tactic, you might feel high levels of stress or abandonment anxiety in your relationships. This could manifest as a behavior sometimes labeled “clinginess” that’s often rooted in a deep fear of losing your support system. Trust challenges. Past emotional abuse can make it harder for you to trust even a supportive, compassionate partner. When you’ve been let down in the past, it can take courage and vulnerability to trust that another person won’t hurt you again on purpose. Past emotional abuse can make it harder for you to trust even a supportive, compassionate partner. When you’ve been let down in the past, it can take courage and vulnerability to trust that another person won’t hurt you again on purpose. Difficulty being authentic. If the emotional abuse you experienced often took the form of criticism or picking you apart, you might have internalized some of these comments leading you to feel shame. As a result, it could seem difficult and scary to open up to a partner, leading to emotional distance in the relationship. Effects of emotional abuse on self-image The way you view and relate to yourself can also change in the wake of chronic or isolated emotional abuse: Low self-esteem. Emotional abuse that consists of put-downs can wear your self-esteem thin, leading to feelings of worthlessness. It might make you feel like you’re less deserving or valid than the people around you. Emotional abuse that consists of put-downs can wear your self-esteem thin, leading to feelings of worthlessness. It might make you feel like you’re less deserving or valid than the people around you. Self-doubt. Emotional abuse called gaslighting can make you question your own thoughts, abilities, and perception of reality. If you’ve been continuously gaslit, you might notice you have less confidence in your own instincts. You might question yourself more often, tend to self-sabotage, or have more difficulty identifying and trusting your own feelings. Emotional abuse called gaslighting can make you question your own thoughts, abilities, and perception of reality. If you’ve been continuously gaslit, you might notice you have less confidence in your own instincts. You might question yourself more often, tend to self-sabotage, or have more difficulty identifying and trusting your own feelings. Shame. Sometimes emotional abuse involves behaviors intended to making you feel ashamed of parts of who you are, such as personality quirks, likes and dislikes, or hopes for the future. This can cause you to stifle parts of your identity to avoid feeling the shame associated with them.
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Read More »Physical effects of emotional abuse Several physical impacts are also connected to past experiences of chronic emotional abuse: Chronic pain. Research from 2018 suggests adverse childhood experiences including emotional abuse could increase your chances of experiencing forms of chronic pain, such as back pain and headaches. suggests adverse childhood experiences including emotional abuse could increase your chances of experiencing forms of chronic pain, such as back pain and headaches. Fibromyalgia. Past emotional abuse may be more common in people with fibromyalgia, a chronic pain syndrome, suggests 2015 research that studied 34 patients with the condition. The study connected fibromyalgia to unresolved trauma and attachment trauma. Past emotional abuse may be more common in people with fibromyalgia, a chronic pain syndrome, suggests 2015 research that studied 34 patients with the condition. The study connected fibromyalgia to unresolved trauma and attachment trauma. Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Emotional abuse has been found to predict IBS, which can involve painful bloating, diarrhea, and constipation.
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