Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Pixabay
Sadness Sadness is the longest lasting of all emotions taking on average 120 hours to pass. Hatred is the second most enduring emotion followed by joy which lasts an average of 35 hours. Guilt lingers longer than the hot burn of shame; and fear tends to pass fairly quickly compared to anxiety which generally lasts much longer.
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Read More »Some emotions burst onto the scene and disappear just as quickly. Others stay for longer, as though there’s no place else for them to be. In a recent study, researchers looked at 27 different emotions and gained fascinating insight into the average amount of time each emotion tends to stay. Sadness is the longest lasting of all emotions taking on average 120 hours to pass. Hatred is the second most enduring emotion followed by joy which lasts an average of 35 hours. Guilt lingers longer than the hot burn of shame; and fear tends to pass fairly quickly compared to anxiety which generally lasts much longer. The stay-around power of sadness is likely due to its tendency to be associated with events that have a major long-term impact on people’s lives, such as bereavement. The study, published in the journal Motivation and Emotion, found the reason some emotions stay around for longer than others is because of rumination – the tendency to replay or think about negative things over and over. As explained by researcher Saskia Lavrijsen, ‘Rumination is the central determinant of why some emotions last longer than others.’
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Read More »This finding gives fuel to the importance of being emotionally responsible with those we love (not to be confused with being emotionally responsible for them). There’s a lot said around the idea that nobody can ‘make you sad/angry/ashamed …’, and for the most part, this is true. However in terms of intimate relationships, it’s something that has always sat uneasy with me. Let me tell you why. Part of being intimate with another person involves dropping the walls, clearing the way for them to be closer to you than you would allow anyone else. This is intimacy – honest, generous, open, vulnerable, sometimes messy and when it’s at its best, phenomenal. When this is handled with love and respect, the relationship will be tight, strong and safe. When it’s not, it can be excruciating, perhaps bland, maybe lonely. Knowing what we know now about the length of time sadness takes to pass, it’s clear how regular fighting, disrespect, nastiness or indifference from one towards the other can kill a relationship and dampen a person. In stingy or hurtful relationships sadness will build on sadness. It’s why it’s critical to choose wisely who we love and who we open ourselves up to – or for how long we stay open to them.
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