What does poor emotional intelligence look like?

Having low EI means that a person has difficulty recognizing and understanding their emotions and those of others. People with low EI may also have poor emotion regulation and find it difficult to use their emotions to attain personal goals.

medicalnewstoday.com - Low emotional Intelligence: Recognizing and dealing with it

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This article lists some of the signs of low EI and provides tips on how to deal with low EI in others. It also offers advice on how to increase and develop EI. A person with low EI may have difficulty maintaining relationships due to a lack of social skills or difficulty empathizing with other people. They may also find it hard to regulate their emotions and use them to guide appropriate behaviors. Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to a person’s ability to recognize and understand their own and others’ emotions and to manage their emotions to achieve specific goals. Generally, having low EI means that a person has difficulty recognizing, understanding, and reacting appropriately to their own and others’ emotions. The psychologist and writer Daniel Goleman identified five key components of EI. We look at these in more detail below and provide examples.

Self-awareness

Self-awareness refers to people’s awareness of their personality, feelings, and behaviors. If a person is self-aware, they understand why they think, feel, and act the way they do. A person with low self-awareness might not understand their feelings and reactions in a given situation.

Examples

High EI: A person is trying to explain something to a co-worker. The co-worker is having difficulty following the explanation, as the person is veering off subject. The person realizes that they can sometimes get sidetracked, so they apologize and start again. Low EI: In the same scenario, the person becomes frustrated when their co-worker does not follow what they are saying. The person accuses their co-worker of not paying attention.

Self-regulation

People with good self-regulation can control and manage their emotions appropriately. A person who self-regulates thinks before they act and does not react impulsively. Individuals with low self-regulation may be prone to outbursts of emotion and may act without thinking.

Examples

High EI: A person orders food at a restaurant. The food takes a long time to arrive, and when it does arrive, it is the wrong dish. The person is a little disappointed but understands that the restaurant is busy and that mistakes can happen. They calmly let their server know the issue and wait for them to fix the order. Low EI: In the same scenario, the individual becomes angry with their server. They blame the server for the issue with their food and storm out of the restaurant.

Motivation

Motivation refers to a person’s drive to achieve certain goals. If someone is motivated, they aim to succeed and to improve themselves. People with high motivation will typically value personal development over immediate reward.

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If a person has low motivation, they may find it difficult to accomplish things. Low motivation can lead to someone giving up on their goals.

Examples

High EI: A person hopes to open a cafe one day. After years of hard work, they open up a little cafe, thus achieving their goal. Low EI: The person starts working on their goal of owning a cafe but quickly realizes that running a business is hard work. They give up on owning a cafe and settle for an easier job.

Empathy

Empathy is a person’s understanding of someone else’s feelings or situation. If an individual is empathetic, they can see things from someone else’s point of view. Having empathy allows someone to be sympathetic to other people’s feelings and needs. A person with low levels of empathy does not understand how other people are feeling. They may find it difficult to understand how their actions can affect other people.

Examples

High EI: A person’s friend is stressed about an upcoming test. The person knows how much passing this test means to their friend, so they listen to their friend’s concerns and try to offer words of comfort and support. They ask if there is anything they can do to help their friend prepare for the test. Low EI: In the same scenario, the person does not understand why their friend is so worried about a test. They are upset that their friend will not come to a party with them instead of studying.

Social skills

Social skills allow people to interact appropriately with others.

A person who has poor social skills may have difficulty communicating with other people, and they may find it hard to build or maintain relationships.

Examples

High EI: A friend introduces a person to their new partner. The person makes their friend’s partner feel welcome and includes them in their conversations. Low EI: In the same situation, the person makes crude jokes about their friend’s new partner and does not notice that their friend is uncomfortable with the jokes. When the friend eventually asks them to stop making jokes, the person becomes defensive and angry.

medicalnewstoday.com - Low emotional Intelligence: Recognizing and dealing with it

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